Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Writing task-1
The given bar graph represents the percentage of men and women in australia of different age group are involved in daily physical activity in year 2010.
The First group in which age is from 15 to 24, In this group boys/male were more in physical activity at about 53% and girls/Female were at 48%. The second group (25 to 34 age) have more percentage of Female at 48.9 whereas Male were at 42.2%. The Third group in which age is in between 35 to 44, There was significant difference between male and female, Female were at 32.5% and male were at 39.5%.
(45to54)
In fourth group, There was same condition as in Third group but there was a very slightly increase in male about 4% and female about 1%. The (55to64) fifth group also had same condition as perivous one but female physical activity was declined by 0.3% and male had increase of 2%. The last group contain age of 65 and more had almost the same percentage male had 46.7% and female had 47.1.
Overall , The bar graph shows that female were more into physical activity rather than male , But the is exception in 1st group 15 to 24 age which is vice-versa
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all age groups and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing data points rather than synthesising them into a clear overview. The 'Overall' paragraph is slightly inaccurate, as it claims women were more active overall, which is not clearly supported by the data provided for all age groups. To improve, you should focus on grouping data points to highlight trends (e.g., comparing age brackets where men lead versus those where women lead) rather than describing each group in isolation. The summary needs to be more precise to accurately reflect the data provided in the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'The First group', 'The second group', and 'The Third group' make the writing feel like a list rather than a cohesive report. Paragraphing is inconsistent, with some groups isolated in parentheses or short, fragmented sentences. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Conversely', 'Similarly') to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure that your overview paragraph provides a more accurate summary of the main trends observed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'more', 'increase', and 'decline'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'more into physical activity' and 'same condition as perivous one'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'a marginal increase', 'a significant proportion', or 'a downward trend'. Additionally, ensure you use accurate terminology for gender and age demographics to maintain a formal academic tone throughout the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'in australia of different age group are involved', 'male had 46.7% and female had 47.1', and 'there was a very slightly increase'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'the 1st group') are inconsistent. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralisation and verb forms. Incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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