Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrate the percentage of Australian men and woman in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall , the percentage of Australian men and woman doing physical activity in year of 2010 with the highest number of age group of individual doing exercise with the percentage by man with the age group of 15 to 24 and woman of age 45 to 54 doing .
The age group of 15 to 24 if we start with then most percentage of Australian
man are doing physical activity with the percentage of 52.8 and the same age group of woman are doing 47.7 in addition the second most highest is age of people 65 and over with the number of 48.7 of man and respectively the woman of this age group are 47.1. Moreover if we talk about the highest percentage of woman are doing physical work are the age group of 45 to 54 with the percentage of the 53.3 and man of this age group are 45.1.
Moving further , the lowest amount of data which have the percentage of 39.5 percentage of man in the age group of 35 to 44 but the same age of woman are doing 52.5 percentage and one above the lowest the second number stand with the age group of the people are 25 to 34 respectively man are of this age group 42.2 and woman of same age are the 46.9 percentage .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, identifying key age groups and comparing genders. However, the overview is poorly constructed and lacks clarity, making it difficult to identify the main trends immediately. While the data points are generally accurate, the presentation is somewhat disjointed, and the summary of the 'highest' and 'lowest' figures is confusingly phrased. To improve, ensure the overview provides a clear, concise summary of the most significant trends rather than listing specific data points, which should be reserved for the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Cohesive devices such as 'in addition', 'moreover', and 'moving further' are used, but they often feel mechanical or are placed incorrectly, which hinders the smooth progression of ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when comparing the two genders across different age brackets. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'doing physical activity' and 'the percentage of' are used repeatedly, which makes the writing feel monotonous. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the second most highest' (which is grammatically redundant) and 'physical work' (which is not synonymous with 'physical activity' in this context). To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise terminology to describe statistical data and trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The bar chart illustrate'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction. Many sentences are overly long and convoluted, leading to confusion. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often inaccurate. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy and ensuring correct verb forms and prepositions will help improve your score. You should also work on punctuation, as some sentences are run-on or lack necessary commas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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