Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar graph gives us the information about the percentage of Australia males and females were doing regular physical activities in different age groups in 2010.
A cursory glance at the bar graph is adequate to enough reveal that the proportion of women was at peak. It remined constant in 65 over. The percentage of males(15 to 24) age group who did regular exercise was nearly 52.8. There was a slight decline in the females (15 to 24) age group who did regular exercise. A significant decrease can be seen in the proportion of men (25 to 34) age group who did regular exercise. The percentage of women (25 to 34) who did daily exercise rose dramatic. it was 48.9%.
Further looking at the bar graph, it can be noticed that the proportion of males (45 to 54) age group who did regular exercise was nearly 53.3%. There was a rapid decline in the percentage of women (45 to 54) age group who did regular exercise. A drastic incline can be seen in the proportion of men (55 to 64) age group who did regular exercise. The percentage of women (55 to 64)age group who did regular exercise dropped slight. It reached at 45.1%.
Overall, after analyzing the bar graph, rising trend can be seen in the males. On the flip side, falling trend can be seen in the females.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing data points for each age group rather than synthesizing the information effectively. The overview is quite brief and lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends. While the task is addressed, the reporting of data is occasionally imprecise, such as the claim that the proportion of women was 'at peak' without specifying which age group, and the summary of trends in the final paragraph is overly simplistic and not fully supported by the preceding data analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'The percentage of...' to start sentences. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the logical progression within paragraphs is hindered by the list-like presentation of data. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when referring back to specific age groups or trends. While the overall arrangement is coherent, the lack of sophisticated linking words limits the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'adequate to enough reveal', 'rose dramatic', and 'dropped slight'. These errors, while not impeding communication, demonstrate a limited control over word forms and adverbs. The vocabulary is generally functional, but the student struggles to use more sophisticated or academic language effectively. To improve, the student should focus on using adverbs correctly with verbs (e.g., 'dramatically' instead of 'dramatic') and expanding their range of reporting verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the writing. Issues include missing articles ('in 65 over'), incorrect verb forms ('remined', 'rose dramatic'), and awkward phrasing ('The bar graph gives us the information about the percentage of Australia males'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band score. More attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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