Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical exercise in 2010.
Overall, The percentage of men doing exercise increased by 52.8 percent at a certain age . While the percentage of women doing exercise increased by 53.3 percent in a certain age group.
Although, from age 15 to 24 the percentage of women doing physical activity is a bit low while the percentage of men doing exercise in 52.8 percent. As women aged it has increased by 53.3 percent in the age group 45 to 54.It hit a low after 65 which is 47.1 percent. Men ability of doing physical exercise decreased from 25 to 34 by 42.2 percent and hit a low from 35 to 44 by 39.3. Although it has increased as they aged.
On the contrary, the percentage of women doing exercise increased from a certain age group ( 25 to 34) and it keep increasing by 2 to 3 percent each age group. But after a certain age both of the groups ability of doing exercise was almost same which is 46.7 and 47.1 but women doing regular activity was higher than men.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the bar chart, but it struggles significantly with data interpretation and accurate reporting. For instance, the student states that the percentage of men increased by '52.8 percent at a certain age', which misinterprets specific data points as overall changes over time rather than age group comparisons. Furthermore, the descriptions of trends, such as 'Men ability of doing physical exercise decreased', are imprecise and lack the necessary overview of the chart's general patterns. The attempt to highlight key age groups is present, but confusing phrasing and inaccurate data citations prevent the response from fully addressing all parts of the task effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response is organised into multiple paragraphs, but the logical progression and overall coherence are heavily disrupted by confusing transitional phrases and poor referencing. Phrases like 'On the contrary' are used inappropriately given the context of the data. Furthermore, pronoun referencing is frequently unclear; it is often difficult to determine whether 'it' refers to the men, the women, or the percentage rate. While paragraphing is attempted, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is mechanical and inadequate, leading to a disjointed reading experience that lacks clear progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The lexical range is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic phrasing such as 'percentage of men doing exercise' and 'doing physical activity'. There are noticeable awkward collocations and inappropriate word choices, such as 'Men ability of doing physical exercise', which demonstrate a lack of precision. While some basic vocabulary is used accurately, the student fails to demonstrate control over less common lexical items or topic-specific vocabulary related to data trends, which restricts the overall lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and flawed attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing subject-verb agreement ('the percentage of women doing physical activity is a bit low'), incorrect verb forms ('it keep increasing'), and strange phrasing ('Men ability of doing'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and occasionally obscure the intended meaning, placing the performance firmly in the lower band range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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