Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The following bar chart illustrates the percentile of Australian men and women in various age groups who did regular physical activity in the year 2010.

Overall, female of various age did regular physical activities than the males. There are different ages are discribed below that are related to the physical activity among men or women.

Firstly, we discuss about the early ages like at the age 15 to 24 men percentile are increase than women. The men percentage is 52.8 and the women percentage is 47.7. The another age is 45 to 54 , in this age group the men percentage is decrease than the women. The value of male percentile is 43.1 and the female one is 53.3 that are the highest one in the year 2010.

At the end, we discuss about the age of 65 or more , in this age the ratio are almost same . The males are 46.7 or the females is 47.1. So this is the percentile of men or women of Australia in the year 2010 that did regular physical activity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task by reporting information from the bar chart, such as mentioning the 15-to-24 and 45-to-54 age groups. However, the overall summary is inaccurate, claiming that 'female of various age did regular physical activities than the males', which contradicts the data for several age brackets where men outparticipated women. Furthermore, the selection of data points is random and incomplete, failing to give a clear overall picture of the trends across all age groups. The student also incorrectly states that the 45-to-54 female percentage of 53.3 is the highest overall when other groups reached higher levels. Consequently, Task Achievement is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay is divided into short paragraphs, but the organizational structure is weak and conversational, using phrases like 'Firstly, we discuss about' and 'At the end, we discuss about'. There is a lack of logical progression throughout the text, and cohesive devices are either misused or absent. Referencing is also problematic, as pronouns and demonstratives ('The another age', 'So this is the percentile') fail to link ideas smoothly. Paragraphing does not follow a clear logical plan for comparing the two demographic series across categories.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

Vocabulary use is basic and repetitive, frequently misusing terms such as 'percentile' instead of 'percentage' or 'proportion'. Words like 'increase' and 'decrease' are used incorrectly as verbs or adjectives where nouns are required (e.g., 'men percentile are increase than women'). There are noticeable word choice errors and a very limited range of appropriate vocabulary for describing statistical data. Spelling and word formation errors, such as 'discribed', further restrict the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The text contains a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on basic, faulty simple sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'female of various age did', 'There are different ages are discribed'), incorrect prepositions, and awkward clause structures. Complex sentence attempts are consistently flawed. These errors cause frequent strain for the reader and impede clear communication of the data.

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