Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The bar chart compares the proportion of regular physical activity between Australian women and men in different age groups in 2010.
Overall, it can be seen that there was a significant higher percentage of women in regular physical activity compared to men in age group.
To start, the figure for age group of men 15 to 24 dramatic increased 52.8%, while women standing at 47.7%. However, the physical activity among 24 to 34 age group of men experinced a decline with proportion of 42.2%, and women showed 48.9% higher than men
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under-length, containing only 91 words compared to the required 150-word minimum. This severely limits the candidate's ability to fully address all parts of the task. While the introduction correctly states the chart's purpose, the overview contains a confusing generalisation ('a significant higher percentage of women in regular physical activity compared to men in age group') that is factually incorrect across all age groups, as men actually report higher participation in the 15 to 24 age bracket. The body paragraph begins to report data for the 15 to 24 and 25 to 34 age groups, but the description is fragmented, ungrammatical, and cuts off mid-sentence. Consequently, key trends and comparisons for older age groups are entirely omitted, resulting in a band score of 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay attempts a standard structure with an introductory sentence, an overview, and a start to a body paragraph. However, the text breaks off abruptly after only 91 words, preventing any fully developed logical progression. Paragraphing is disjointed, with single-sentence lines acting as paragraphs. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes misused, such as 'To start' introducing a poorly linked sequence of data points. Referencing between sentences becomes unclear due to grammatical breakdowns, such as in the final incomplete clause ('and women showed 48.9% higher than men'). Overall, the structural framework is incomplete and ideas are not arranged in a cohesive manner, warranting a band score of 4.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently revolving around terms like 'percentage', 'proportion', 'men', 'women', and 'age group'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'significant higher percentage' instead of 'significantly higher percentage' and 'dramatic increased' instead of 'dramatically increased'. The range of vocabulary is severely restricted by the short length of the response, and lexical items relating to data reporting (such as trends and fluctuations) are poorly executed, including a misused word form ('experinced'). Because the vocabulary is limited and contains frequent errors that strain the reader, it aligns best with band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple or flawed complex attempts. There are frequent, intrusive grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense and word-form issues ('dramatic increased' instead of 'dramatically increased', 'experinced' instead of 'experienced'), missing prepositions, and structural incompleteness ('while women standing at 47.7%'). Furthermore, the response trails off into an unfinished fragment at the end. These persistent errors distort meaning and make communication difficult in several places, restricting the score to a band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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