Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart compares the proportion of Australian men and women in different age category who participated physical activity in 2010.
Overall, it is clear that the figure for women in physical exercise were more pronounced standing at around 50%, compares to men fluctuated consideralbly throughout the year despite the young aged group.
To start, the involement of men in physical activity of men among 15-24 aged group was significantly higher 52.2%, compares to women at 47.7%. However, there was a not slightly declined in men's physical activity about 42.2%, while women showed a little higher make shift 48.8%.
There were a widen downward shift among 35-44 aged group, less physical activity
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence after only 112 words, failing to meet the minimum 150-word requirement. Consequently, the description of the data is severely truncated. While the student attempts an overview and mentions some initial data points for the 15-24 age group, the analysis of subsequent age groups is missing or incomplete (e.g. stopping abruptly at the 35-44 age group). Because the task is not fully addressed due to length and lack of development, it falls into Band 4.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay attempts an overall structure with an introduction and overview, but because it trails off into fragments and bullet-like incomplete lines at the end, the overall progression is disrupted. Cohesive devices are attempted (e.g. 'Overall', 'To start', 'However'), but referencing is occasionally faulty, such as 'the figure for women... were more pronounced'. Paragraphing is also hindered by the premature ending of the text. Overall cohesion is weak and mechanical, fitting Band 4.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a basic vocabulary with attempts at less common items, such as 'proportion', 'pronounced', and 'fluctuated considerably'. However, there are numerous lexical and collocation errors, including 'participated physical activity' (missing preposition), 'young aged group', 'not slightly declined' (contradictory phrasing), and 'make shift'. Vocabulary errors and awkward phrasing are frequent and occasionally impede communication, placing this response at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in agreement, such as 'the figure for women... were' and missing articles or prepositions ('participated physical activity', 'among 15-24 aged group'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries break down entirely towards the end as the text trails off into fragments. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader, aligning with Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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