Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Record shows tha Austrilan men and women in early ages are very active in their physical activities due to their freedom and no financial issues.They just spend their time either in education or in hobbies.When they move towards next phase,men have more responsibilities instead of women and they don't spend much time on himself.While in other women case,they don't have so much pressure or stress and responsibilities of their families.So,they spend time on their physical activity like running, morning walk and other exercise ot maintain thereselves.While the age between 25 to 45,men have to work hard to meet their family basic needs.In our society,there is a lot of other responsibilities likewise a men have to overcome.In this duration he loose focus on himself.There is also a other reason js that, there is women psychology that they focus more on herself and to maintain herself to look younger and beautiful.

Conclusion:

There is a reason while men have decreasing trend of focusing himself when they are between 25 to 45 than women.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response falls well short of the requirements for Academic Task 1. Instead of providing an objective summary, selecting main features, and making relevant comparisons from the chart, the student provides subjective social commentary and unsupported psychological speculations (e.g., 'due to their freedom and no financial issues', 'there is women psychology that they focus more on herself'). Furthermore, specific data from the chart (such as the 15 to 24 age group percentages of 52.8% for males and 47.7% for females, or the peak for females in the 45 to 54 age group at 53.3%) are entirely omitted. The student fails to report the actual trends and figures shown in the visual data, resulting in a low band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The overall organisation is severely compromised. The response lacks standard paragraph structure for an academic report, featuring non-standard breaks like a 'Conclusion:' heading that does not properly summarise the data. Logical progression is missing because the text reads like an argumentative opinion essay rather than a data summary. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, and referencing is frequently unclear (e.g., switching confusingly between 'men' and 'women' without clear logical links).

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted. The student uses simple terms like 'active', 'spend time', 'work hard', and 'pressure'. There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'ot maintain thereselves', 'he loose focus', and 'a other reason js that'. Spelling mistakes are frequent (e.g., 'Austrilan', 'thereselves', 'loose' instead of 'lose'). The lexical range is inadequate for an academic task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. While there are a few simple sentences that are understandable, complex structures are frequently faulty. Examples of frequent errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('men have more responsibilities instead of women and they don't spend much time on himself'), missing articles, and punctuation errors. These persistent errors often cause strain for the reader, though basic meaning can sometimes be extracted.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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