Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart depictedm the percentage of Australian male and female in various age groups who did usual physical activity in 2010.The age group from 15 to 24 men was dominanted with 52.8 percentage as compared to 47.7 percent of women.The category of 25 to 34 in chart women has huge percentage of 48.9 against to men percentage with 42.2.In the age group of 35 to 44 women was dominants with percentage of 52.5 as compared to men which was 39.5 percent. The age group from 45 to 54 years women also on peak with 53.3 percentage opposed to men percentage which was 43.1 percentage. In the second last, the age group from 55 to 64 years women was massive in percentage with 53 percent versus to men had 45.1 percent.At last, the age group which was 65 and over aged in this group women was superior with 47.1 percent as compared to men whom has 46.7 percent. In conclusion, men was only one time dominant in the age group 15 to 24 years and then in other five age groups only women has highest percentage till the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all age groups and attempts to make comparisons between genders, presenting an overview in the conclusion. However, there are numerous data misreadings and inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, the student states that in the 25 to 34 category women had a huge percentage of 48.9 against men with 42.2, but misinterprets several other figures or reverses gender data trends, such as claiming women were dominant in age groups where men actually had higher figures (e.g., 65 and over, where males were 46.7 and females 47.1, but stating 'women was superior... as compared to men whom has 46.7 percent' while misreading the male value). Furthermore, the overview lacks precision and the reporting is mechanical. These limitations place it at a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text is written as a single, dense block paragraph without appropriate paragraphing, which significantly hinders readability and logical progression. Although cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'As compared to', 'In conclusion'), their usage is often repetitive and inaccurate. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the mechanical listing of data point by data point prevents a clear overall flow. This falls short of higher band descriptors, aligning best with Band 4.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The student demonstrates a very limited and repetitive range of vocabulary, relying heavily on basic terms and incorrect word forms such as 'depictedm', 'dominanted', 'dominants', and 'superior'. Collocations and word choices are frequently awkward, such as 'women was massive in percentage'. Spelling errors and morphological mistakes ('percent' vs 'percentage') recur throughout the response. The lexical range is minimally adequate to convey basic ideas, earning a Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak, with frequent, intrusive errors that often impede comprehension. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'women was dominants', 'men had 45.1 percent. At last, the age group... was superior... as compared to men whom has'), incorrect prepositions, and faulty sentence structures. While the writer attempts some complex structures, they are almost invariably inaccurate. This level corresponds to a Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
