Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart demonstrates the peoportion of doing physical exercise in different ages in Australia in 2010.Male showed more interest fir doing regular exercise with the exception of sixty five age and and teen age groups.
According to the graph, women did more exercise than male ,at 42.2% and female at 48.9%, while (35-44) age group showed sme trend, where women had at 352.5% and men had 39.5%.(45 to 54) and (55 to 64) groups showed similar proportion, male had 43.1% and 45.1% and women had 53.3% and 53%, respectively.
Only more old age group (65 and over) showed diffrent rate while both had approximately same at 46.7 and 47.1%, respectively.Teen age group (15 to 24) also showed different proportion, where boys were more interested for doing physical exercise than girls, boys had 52.8% and girls had 47.7%.
Overall, In Australia , women were more interested to exercise and men showed lower interest with the exception of more old age group(65 and over) and teen age group (15 to 24).
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the chart, noting the differences between men and women across various age groups. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the text states 'women did more exercise than male ,at 42.2% and female at 48.9%', which reverses the data for the 25-34 age group where males were actually at 42.2% and females at 48.9%. Furthermore, there are typos and formatting issues with numbers, such as '352.5%'. While an overview is attempted in the conclusion, the confused reporting of specific data points prevents the response from achieving a higher band. It satisfies the core requirements of summarising the chart but contains noticeable misinterpretations.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is divided into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing specific age groups, and an overall conclusion. However, the progression within sentences is frequently hindered by awkward phrasing, punctuation errors (such as missing spaces after commas), and poor cohesive referencing. For example, phrases like 'while (35-44) age group showed sme trend' lack smooth integration into the text. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive. Paragraphing is present and attempts to structure the response, but the internal logical flow is often disjointed, leading to a Band 5 performance for this criterion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on terms like 'interested', 'exercise', 'group', and 'proportion'. There are several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'peoportion' instead of 'proportion', 'sme' instead of 'some', 'diffrent' instead of 'different', and 'fir' instead of 'for'. Collocations are also weak, for example, saying people were 'interested fir doing regular exercise' rather than 'participated in regular physical activity'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple ideas, but frequent errors in spelling and word formation restrict the score to Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are numerous punctuation errors, such as incorrect comma placement ('male ,at 42.2%') and missing spaces. Run-on sentences and comma splices are also present, such as in the second paragraph where multiple clauses are incorrectly linked. Grammatical inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('women did more exercise than male') and awkward preposition usage, occur frequently and occasionally impede communication. The range of structures is limited, and the frequency of errors places this response firmly at Band 4.0.
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