Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women in different groups who did pay-attention on physical activities everyday in 2010.
Overall, it is clear that all age group was doing physical excerise over the twelve months, while middle age female and younger male groups recorded the highest percentage in Australia. the mid aged female had t
To begin with, the younger age bracket who were 15 to 24 doing physical exercise male 52.8 and female in 47.7, individuals aged 25 to 44 male and female stood at 42.2 and 48.9. the 35 to 44 category they were exercise male and female was 39.5, 52.5.
Turning to the next details, middle aged individuals were 43% and female 53.3, whereas the 55 to 64 aged female were very active 53%, male share was 45.1. Furthermore, elder people group who were 65 and over, which share were 46.7% male and 47.1 female.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the bar chart comparing the percentage of Australian men and women participating in regular physical activity in 2010. However, the data presentation is heavily flawed by incomplete sentences, awkward phrasing, and abrupt cutting off, such as 'the mid aged female had t'. While some data points from the chart are mentioned (such as the 15 to 24 age bracket and the 65 and over group), the reporting is confusing and difficult to follow. The overview is overly simplistic and incomplete. According to the Band 5 descriptors, the response addresses the task only partially and presents limited, under-developed ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure of these paragraphs is extremely disjointed. Sentences are fragmented, and cohesive devices are either misused or missing entirely. For instance, the transition 'To begin with, the younger age bracket who were 15 to 24 doing physical exercise male 52.8 and female in 47.7' lacks a clear main verb and logical flow. Furthermore, the response ends abruptly mid-sentence in the second paragraph ('the mid aged female had t'), indicating a breakdown in organization and control. This aligns closely with Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently, though some paragraphing structure saves it from a lower score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive ('percentage', 'proportion', 'age group', 'physical activity'). There are awkward lexical choices and unnatural collocations throughout, such as 'did pay-attention on physical activities everyday' instead of 'participated in regular physical activity'. Spelling and word forms show frequent interference, such as 'excerise' instead of 'exercise' and 'elder people group' instead of 'elderly age group'. The lexical range is limited and barely adequate to convey the data, which fits the Band 5 descriptor where noticeable errors cause difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a lack of complete, well-formed sentences, with many clauses strung together without proper grammatical links (e.g., 'the younger age bracket who were 15 to 24 doing physical exercise male 52.8 and female in 47.7'). Subject-verb agreement issues and missing auxiliary verbs are pervasive. Complex structures are attempted but result in severe errors and fragments. Because basic structures are frequently faulty and meaning is often obscured, the response corresponds to a Band 4 grammatical level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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