Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of Australian males and females from age 15 ,doing regular exercise in year 2010. The data has been calibrated in percentage.
At the first glance, it is lucid that age group of 15 to 24, 52.8% men had intrested in physical activity and 47.7 women consisted in it. While from age 25 to 44 men had dropped slightly involvement in exercise, women were more conscious about health.
From further analysis, it seem that after 44 men started care of his health men and women were more awared for health. Both doing regular physical activity 43.1 to 45.1 men and nearly 53 women involved in gym. However, 65 and over age both gender also same ratio doing same exercise.
FRom an overall analysis, it is cearly seen that all men and women fluctuate between 40 to 55% who
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the chart, noting data points such as the 15 to 24 age group and trends across age categories. However, the report suffers from a significant drawback: it is incomplete and trails off mid-sentence at the end ('all men and women fluctuate between 40 to 55% who...'). Furthermore, the word count is 146 words, failing to meet the 150-word minimum requirement. This leads to a penalty under Task Achievement. While some comparisons are made, the data interpretation is occasionally inaccurate or confusing, such as describing specific age groups in a disjointed manner.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall logical progression is severely disrupted by the abrupt ending and incomplete sentences. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'At the first glance, it is lucid that' and 'From further analysis, it seem that'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph consists of only a partial sentence, which damages the structural integrity and readability of the response. Referencing and linking between sentences often lack clarity.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts to use some topic-related vocabulary such as 'physical activity', 'exercise', and 'age group', but the range is limited and frequently marred by unnatural word choices and collocation errors. Examples include 'had intrested in', 'dropped slightly involvement', 'started care of his health', and 'awared for health'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'intrested' and 'cearly'. These lexical inadequacies and inaccuracies impede smooth communication at times.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a very limited range of accurate sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in major errors. Examples of ungrammatical constructions include '52.8% men had intrested in physical activity and 47.7 women consisted in it', 'men started care of his health', and 'both gender also same ratio doing same exercise'. Punctuation is also problematic, and the unfinished sentence at the end leaves the grammatical framework incomplete.
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