Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The Bar illustrates the percentage of Australian males and females pf different ages who did particular exercise in 2010.
Overall, females sports participation is higher in every age group while men have the lower participation however, there is a change in younger adults where male participation is higher than that of females.
In younger adults men show greatest participation of 52.8% while women of that 47.7%. Adults male show decrease in participation of 42.2% and females show increase of 48.9%. While in middle ages females participation percentage is 52.5% and male show a significant downfall of 39.5%.
In senior citizens the percentage lies females of 53.3% and males of 43.1%. In elder peoples 53% women and 45.1% men percentage holders. While, there is slight or no diffenrence in oldest peoples of approx 1.4% difference.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The student attempts to summarise the main features of the chart, noting the overall participation rates for men and women across different age groups. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that 'females sports participation is higher in every age group,' which contradicts the chart where males aged 15 to 24 have a higher percentage (52.8%) than females (47.7%). Furthermore, the grouping of the data and the reporting of specific figures contain confusions and misreadings. Additionally, the response falls short of the 150-word minimum requirement, containing only 134 words. This leads to a penalty under Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response attempts an overall structure with an introduction and body sentences, but the progression of ideas is hindered by poor paragraphing and weak logical connections. Sentences are clumped into short, choppy paragraphs that lack clear thematic unity. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'While in middle ages' and 'In elder peoples 53% women and 45.1% men percentage holders.' Referencing between sentences is often unclear, making the relationships between data points difficult for the reader to follow smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms like 'percentage', 'participation', 'men', and 'women'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'pf different ages', 'particular exercise', 'Adults male show decrease', and 'elder peoples 53% women and 45.1% men percentage holders.' These lexical limitations and awkward phrasings cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted range of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The student uses a very limited range of sentence structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with frequent grammatical errors. There are numerous issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect prepositions, such as 'The Bar illustrates', 'females sports participation', 'while men have the lower participation', and 'diffenrence in oldest peoples'. Complex structures are attempted but are generally faulty and lack control over punctuation and grammar, resulting in frequent errors that impede clarity.
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