Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart describes the percentage of different ages of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010.

It is clear from the chart that women used to be physically more active than men but the exception are age group of 15 to 24 where men were more active with the percentage of 52.8.

However, men becoming inactive from age of 15 to 44, whereas, women rose.

Nevertheless, men from 25 to 34 is under 45% which decreased from 52.8%, on the other hand, women, are steady not a big rise which is 48.9%. From the age of 35 to 64 women kept steady from the men about 11-13%.

In contrast, at the age of 65 and over both men and men becomes equal which is 47%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response is under the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 129 words, which negatively impacts task achievement. While the student attempts to summarise the chart by identifying some main features, such as the peak for men in the 15-24 age group at 52.8% and the general trends across age brackets, there are several inaccuracies and a lack of a clear overall summary. For instance, the statement that 'women used to be physically more active than men' is imprecise given the fluctuating trends. Furthermore, data reporting contains confusion, such as claiming 'both men and men becomes equal which is 47%' for the 65 and over group where female is 47.1% and male is 46.7%. The overview is weak and the response fails to fully develop comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has significant issues with cohesion and paragraphing. It is broken into very short, fragmented paragraphs that disrupt the logical flow of ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as the abrupt transition 'However, men becoming inactive from age of 15 to 44, whereas, women rose' and the confusing phrasing 'Nevertheless, men from 25 to 34 is under 45%'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparisons between genders across age groups. While an overall progression is attempted, the frequent mechanical errors in referencing and cohesive ties limit the coherence to a lower band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with limited range appropriate for an academic task. Phrases like 'percentage of different ages', 'physically more active', and 'big rise' demonstrate a restricted lexical scope. There are also noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'men becoming inactive' (the chart shows physical activity participation, not total inactivity) and 'men and men becomes equal'. Less common lexical items are attempted with low accuracy, and repetition of terms like 'steady' and 'percentage' restricts the ability to convey precise meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak, with frequent structural errors that occasionally impede communication. There are noticeable missing verbs and awkward sentence formations, such as 'where men were more active with the percentage of 52.8', 'men becoming inactive from age of 15 to 44, whereas, women rose', and 'both men and men becomes equal'. Subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'men from 25 to 34 is under 45%') and punctuation issues are common. The range of structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in ungrammatical clauses.

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