Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in different age groups in 2010.

Overall, The highest percentage in mens physical activity is start from age 15 to 24 and the highest percentage for women physical activity age start from 55 to 64.

From age 15 to 24 mens have 52.8% of physical activity and for womens it is below 47.7%. The age starting from 25 to 34 mens have 42.2% and womens have 48.9% of doing physical activity and age from 35 to 44 mens go below 40% and women rise up to 50% of doing regular physical activity in Australia. The starting from 45 to 54 mens have 43.1% of doing physical activity and womens have 53.3% of doing physical activity in Australia and the age from 55 to 64 mens remain below to women mens have 45.1% and the womens have above 50 means 53% and the age from 65 and over mens have 46.7% and womens have alomost same 47.1%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student has attempted to address the task by reporting figures for both men and women across the various age groups. However, the overview provided in the second paragraph is confusingly phrased and contains inaccurate claims about where the highest percentages occur (stating that men's highest activity is at age 15-24 and women's is at 55-64, whereas the chart shows women peak in the 45-54 age group). The body of the response lists individual data points rather than synthesising the information into meaningful trends or comparisons. While most data figures mentioned are roughly accurate according to the chart, the lack of a proper overview and poor organisation place this at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is poorly paragraphed, consisting of an introduction, a confusing overview sentence, and one very long, unbroken block of text containing almost all the body details. There is a complete lack of clear logical progression or cohesive devices. Sentences are strung together with repetitive conjunctions and run-on structures (e.g., 'and the age from... and womens have...'). Referencing is also weak, making it difficult to follow the relationships between data points. This level of organisation aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive. The student relies heavily on phrases like 'percentage of physical activity' and 'doing regular physical activity' throughout the response. There are also awkward word choices and forms, such as 'mens' instead of 'men' and 'womens' instead of 'women'. While the terms are minimally adequate to convey basic data points, the limited range and lack of flexibility prevent it from reaching Band 6.0, fitting more comfortably at Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical structures attempted are largely simple or poorly executed complex sentences. The text suffers from frequent run-on sentences with missing punctuation (e.g., 'The age starting from 25 to 34 mens have 42.2% and womens have 48.9% of doing physical activity and age from 35 to 44 mens go below 40%...'). There are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, and punctuation is largely absent except for commas separating numbers. These frequent errors cause strain for the reader, placing the response at Band 4.0.

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