Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the bar chart shows the data of Australian men and women engaged in physical activites in 2010, the chart shows that both men and women are pretty keen in engaging into physical activites but the chart shows some details. from the age of 15-24 more men are invloved in the physical activites then women 52.8% of the male population performs regular physical activity but only 47.7% of women are engaged. But moving to the next age group, the details suddenly flips,in group 2 (age 25-34)the male percentage decreases from 52.8 to 42.2 around 10%,and the women ratio rises a little bit from 47.7 to 48.9 around 1%. in the 3rd age group the male ratio drops down once again, form 42.2. to 39.5 while the women's ratio increases once again to 52.5 showing that more women are engaged in physical activities on regular basis. the next two groups show somewhat same info with minor changes and 1 pretty significant change that is the the men's ratio rises out of nowhereform 39.5 to 43.1 and to 45.1 respectively,the age group of 65 and above shows that almost half of both the genders do their regular physical activires.

The drop in men's ratio from age of 25-44 shows that it is the peak age of taking the life reponsibilites and struggle so there is none to less time for performing physical activites on regular basis

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to address the prompt by reporting data from the bar chart, such as the initial figures for 15 to 24-year-olds (52.8% for males and 47.7% for females) and subsequent trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the text claims that in the 65 and over age group 'almost half of both the genders do their regular physical activires', whereas the actual chart shows 46.7% for males and 47.1% for females, and the preceding sentences contain vague references. Furthermore, the final paragraph includes personal speculation about 'life responsibilities and struggle', which goes beyond objective reporting required in Task 1. Consequently, the task is only partially fulfilled.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers severely from a lack of proper punctuation, capitalisation, and paragraphing. The entire text is essentially one giant run-on paragraph, aside from a brief second paragraph that introduces extraneous personal opinion. Cohesive devices are weak and repetitive, relying heavily on informal connectors like 'moving to the next age group' and 'the next two groups show'. There is no clear overall progression or logical structure guiding the reader smoothly through the comparative data, resulting in a confusing and disjointed reading experience.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent misspellings and imprecise word choices throughout the text. Examples include 'activites' instead of activities, 'invloved', 'form' instead of from, 'reponsibilites', and 'activires'. Phrases like 'pretty keen', 'rises out of nowhere', and 'none to less time' are overly informal and inappropriate for an academic task report. The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for communicating basic ideas, but noticeable errors and colloquialisms impede professional academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, characterized by a complete absence of proper sentence boundaries, capitalisation, and punctuation. The student strings multiple independent clauses together using commas or no punctuation at all, creating severe run-on sentences (e.g., 'the bar chart shows the data... but the chart shows some details.'). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. While there are some attempts at complex structures, they are heavily flawed by punctuation and structural errors, causing significant difficulty for the reader.

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