Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar graph compares that data regarding unemployement rate in different age group men and women in australia between 2010.

Overall, it is clear that the female age group 54 and 64 highly increase , also male age group high incrase ration 52.8% in 2010 year, so in percentage australian male and female lowest percentage of ratio of age group 35 and 34 in 39.5% and 42.2%.

Looking at the details, it is evident that percentage of australia men and women doinf rehular physical activity in 2010 year. So the highest male age group 15 and his ratio of 52.8% compare that the 25 male age group in stedily decline. As a male age group 55 age and 65 almost ratio same. Although the female age group in 54 age steadly increase 53.3%,and female age group 44, 54 and 64 ages group almpost the ratio same in 2010. The female age group steadly decline the the age of 24 in 2010, 47.7%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a partial attempt to address the prompt, but it suffers from significant misunderstandings of the visual data. The student mistakenly believes the chart is about unemployment rates rather than regular physical activity. While some details from the chart are mentioned, such as the highest male figure of 52.8% and lowest figures for certain age groups, the selection of information is confused and lacks a clear, coherent overview. To reach a higher level, the response would need to accurately identify the core topic of the chart, provide a clear overall summary of the main trends for both genders, and report data points accurately without misinterpreting the subject matter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text exhibits some overall organisation, attempting an introduction, body, and conclusion-like statements, but it lacks clear logical progression and smooth transitions. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with ideas jumbled together rather than being grouped logically by gender or trend. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, which disrupts the flow of reading (for example, starting sentences with 'So' or 'Although' without proper clause completion). Referencing between sentences is often unclear, leaving the reader confused about which data points are being compared. Achieving higher coherence would require logical sequencing of ideas, better paragraph divisions, and accurate, varied cohesive links to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and severely limited for an academic task. The student commits major word-choice errors, such as misidentifying 'regular physical activity' as 'unemployment rate'. There are numerous word form and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'unemployement', 'incrase', 'ratio' used incorrectly for percentages, and 'doinf rehular'. Less common lexical items are attempted but misused, which strains comprehension. To improve this criterion, the student needs to build a much wider vocabulary related to data trends and statistics, ensure accurate spelling and word formation, and carefully check terminology against the prompt to avoid major lexical inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on faulty attempts at complex sentence structures. There are frequent, persistent errors in basic grammar, including missing or incorrect articles ('percentage of australia men'), faulty verb forms ('doinf rehular physical activity', 'steadly decline'), and incorrect prepositions and agreement. Sentences are often malformed or run together, lacking clear boundaries, which frequently impedes communication. To move up to a higher band, the writer must demonstrate better control over simple and complex sentence forms, ensure accurate subject-verb agreement and verb tenses when describing data, and significantly reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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