Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this graph , illustrated physically activity of both female and female in different age groups furthermore comparison between male and female .In addition female was more active and done physical activity more in every group

of age

In age group of 15 to 24 year male done fifty percent physical workout and female almost near to fifty percentage while 24 to 34 year people in which female done exercise almost fifty percentage and men almost 43 percentage

furthermore analysis graph 35 to 44 demonstrate above 50 percentage female done exercise while men near to 40 percentage and 45 to 54 also same ratios of both gender

snd 55 to 64 age group of people in which female also dominated in exercise and and above percentage of fifty snd and above 65

age related people almost done physical exercise same ratio furthermore in all age group of people female gender was dominated

more fit than ma

both gender

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to address the prompt by discussing physical activity across age groups, but it only partially covers the task requirements. While the student attempts to make comparisons between men and women, the information reported contains factual inaccuracies based on the chart (for instance, claiming that females dominated every single age group, whereas males were actually more active in the 15 to 24 age bracket). The overview is confused and inaccurate, stating that females were more active in every group when the data shows a mixed pattern. Furthermore, many of the figures cited are imprecise or poorly presented, leading to a minimal and under-developed response that struggles to clearly report the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently in this response. The text lacks logical organisation and clear progression, making it difficult for the reader to follow the data comparison. Paragraphing is highly erratic, featuring fragmented single-line sentences and broken phrases that do not function as cohesive paragraphs. There is a lack of appropriate cohesive devices to link ideas, and repetitive referencing (such as the constant restarting of sentences with 'in age group of' or 'furthermore analysis graph') disrupts the flow and makes the overall arrangement difficult to parse.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and restricted, often relying on simple terms like 'done', 'exercise', 'people', and 'percentage'. There are frequent lexical errors and awkward word formations, such as 'illustrated physically activity', 'male done fifty percent', and 'snd' instead of 'and'. Word choice is frequently inaccurate, and spelling or phrasing mistakes (such as 'ma' at the end) strain the reader's understanding. To improve, the student needs to build a wider range of vocabulary related to data trends and ensure correct word forms and collocations are used consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting primarily of simple and heavily faulty sentence structures. There are frequent, heavy errors in grammar, punctuation, and tense usage that often distort the meaning. Examples include missing articles ('in graph'), incorrect verb forms ('female was more active and done physical activity'), and poor prepositional phrasing. Sentences frequently lack main verbs or proper clause structure, resulting in a series of fragmented phrases rather than complete, grammatically sound sentences. This high frequency of basic errors makes comprehension difficult throughout the response.

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