Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar graph present the data which includes regular exercise done by various age category of Australian people in the year of 2010.

overall, Australian females were always more health freak as compare to men in all age groups.

A very young age group with age of 15 to 24 years old people, males were more stick to done regular physical movement with 52.8 percent while women were slightly lower with 47.7 percent. In age bunch of 25 to 34 years, there was around 10% decline in men where women was 48.9% with 1% gain. men were still followed decreasing trend with 3% loss and ladies were more than 50% in 35 to 44 years age group.

From 45 to 54 age crowd, males started showing interest in physical workout again with 43.1% interested, where as females were on the top of the whole database with 53.3% interest. this trend carry on next age group of 55 to 65 with slite changes in percentage. oldest age group of 65 and over, men and women were almost equally interested in physical exercises with around 47 percentage .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response partially addresses the task by reporting several main features and making some comparisons between Australian men and women in 2010. However, the statement in the overview that 'Australian females were always more health freak as compare to men in all age groups' is factually incorrect according to the data, as men had higher participation rates in the 15 to 24 age bracket. Additionally, some data is presented with limited development or lacks clarity, such as the imprecise phrasing regarding the 25 to 34 age group where percentages and changes are mixed awkwardly. To reach a higher level, the overview needs to accurately reflect the overall trends without factual contradictions, and all key features should be supported with precise and clear reporting of the data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has some general organization, beginning with an introductory statement, attempting an overview, and breaking the data down by age groups. However, there is no clear overall progression or logical flow connecting the sentences smoothly. Cohesive devices are used rather mechanically and inadequately, such as repetitive transitions and weak referencing phrases like 'this trend carry on next age group'. Furthermore, paragraphing is poorly handled, as the body of the response is crammed into a single, dense block of text instead of being separated into logical paragraphs. To improve, the writer should use clear paragraph breaks, a wider variety of accurate cohesive devices, and maintain a logical, progressive sequencing of ideas throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'health freak' instead of 'health-conscious', 'age category' and 'age bunch' instead of 'age groups', and 'ladies' instead of 'women'. Additionally, expressions like 'more stick to done regular physical movement' show a weak command of collocations and word forms. While the meaning can generally be discerned, these frequent inaccuracies cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a more precise range of vocabulary, use appropriate academic collocations, and demonstrate better control over word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex ones. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The bar graph present'), missing articles ('in year of 2010'), incorrect verb forms ('males were more stick to done'), and missing prepositions. Punctuation is also weak, marked by run-on clauses and a lack of capitalization at the beginning of sentences (such as 'overall' and 'this'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty and distraction for the reader. To progress, the writer must focus on improving sentence variety, ensuring correct verb tenses and forms, and eliminating basic grammatical errors.

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