Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrate how the percentage of Australian men and women age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
ovwsrall the percentage of australian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010 the highest trand at the 45 to 54 age male have icreased percentage in contrast the highest trand at 15 to 24 age female have increased percentage however the trand has decreased at 65 and over male and the trand has decreased at 25 to 34 female.
The percentage of australian men at the 15 to 24 has decreased has reached in contrast the female has increased percentage have reached at 52.8 while the percentage of female at the 25 to 34 has decreased at the 42.2 percentage in contrast the male has increased has reached 48.9 percentage wherase the age group 35 to 44 female have decreased has reached at 39.5 in contrast the male has increased 52.5 however the percentage of 45 to 54 age group female has decreased 43.1 percentage and the male has increaed 53.3 percentage on the other way the percentage of 55 to 64 age group female has decreased at the percentage 45.1 and male has increased have reached the percentage at 53 despite the percentage of 65 and over female has decreased 46.7 percentage and male has incrased 47.1 percentage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally. While the writer attempts to report on the data from the bar chart, the information provided is heavily confused, inaccurate, and fails to present a clear overview. For instance, the overview section contains disjointed statements such as 'the highest trand at the 45 to 54 age male have icreased percentage', which fail to accurately summarise the main trends shown in the visual data. Furthermore, the body paragraphs confuse the male and female figures across multiple age groups, reversing the actual statistics from the chart (such as stating that the female percentage at 15 to 24 decreased when it actually rose to 47.7, and attributing male and female values incorrectly). As a result, the response fails to properly select and report the main features or make accurate comparisons, placing it firmly at a lower achievement level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged in a coherent manner, and there is no clear overall progression throughout the response. The text struggles with basic logical sequencing, starting with an incomplete opening sentence ('The bar chart illustrate how...') followed by an incoherent overview paragraph beginning with 'ovwsrall'. While the writer attempts to use cohesive devices and contrast markers such as 'in contrast', 'however', and 'whereas' to link clauses, these links are applied mechanically and confusedly across a massive, dense run-on sentence in the final paragraph. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with the main body lumped into an unmanageable block of text that lacks clear transitions or logical grouping of data, making it very difficult for the reader to follow the intended comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily constrained. The writer relies on simple terms like 'percentage', 'men', 'women', 'age', 'increased', and 'decreased' throughout the text. There are frequent spelling errors and word-choice inaccuracies, such as 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrates', 'ovwsrall' instead of 'overall', 'trand' instead of 'trend', and 'icreased' instead of 'increased'. These lexical errors and limitations mean that the writer is unable to use less common vocabulary with precision or style. While the basic subject matter is discernible despite the errors, the vocabulary choices repeatedly strain the reader's comprehension and prevent any flexible range from being demonstrated.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed, overly long, and convoluted sentences that lack proper punctuation. There is a total absence of full stops in the final paragraph, resulting in a continuous run-on structure that strains grammatical boundaries. Frequent errors occur in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as 'the percentage of Australian men and women age groups who did...', 'male have icreased', and 'the percentage of australian men at the 15 to 24 has decreased has reached'. These persistent errors and distorted sentence forms frequently impede communication and cause severe difficulty for the reader in untangling the intended meanings.
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