Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women of different age groups doing regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall, male from different age groups has showed an visible up-downs in physical activity and female participant has shown a visible rise in physical activity over a different age groups.
Male follows a increase-decrease pattern for doing a regular physical activity, over a different age groups as 52.8% of teenager between the age of 15 to 24 are active in physical activity which decline over 39.5% at age group of 35 to 44 and after the participation rose around 46.7% among men who are ath the age 65 or older.
On the other hand, female participation in daily physical activity has shown a continuous increase over the age groups, as 47.7% of female at the age of 15 to 24 are doing physical activities on regular basis which increase about 53% for women at the age of 55 to 64 and by the age of 65 and over it decline around 47.1%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response satisfies the requirements of this band by addressing all parts of the prompt and selecting key features from the chart. You successfully identify the main trends for both genders, such as the fluctuation seen in male physical activity rates and the general upward trend followed by a slight dip for females. Data is appropriately cited to support these descriptions, such as mentioning the peak female participation rate of 53% among those aged 55 to 64 and the initial male figure of 52.8%. However, the response stops short of a higher level because some comparisons between the two genders are missing or underdeveloped, and the overview could be more sharply integrated. While you present relevant ideas, the overall summary in the introduction paragraph lacks a clear holistic comparison between men and women, meaning certain aspects of the visual data are only partially exploited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The writing demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a logical structure that guides the reader through the data. You successfully divide the response into clear paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview, a body paragraph dedicated to male statistics, and a final body paragraph for female data. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as "On the other hand" to contrast the two groups. Nevertheless, cohesion occasionally feels mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is sometimes imprecise, such as using "after the participation rose" without clear temporal or logical transitions. To achieve a higher standard, you could employ more sophisticated referencing and smoother logical bridges between sentences to enhance the flow of information without relying on repetitive transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the general meaning of the bar chart using terms such as "proportion," "regular physical activity," and "participation." You make commendable attempts to use less common vocabulary like "fluctuation" and "decline." However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as "male from different age groups has showed an visible up-downs" instead of visible fluctuations or ups and downs, and "ath the age" rather than at the age. Spelling slips and minor issues with word formation prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher level. To improve, focus on precise word choices, correct word forms for nouns and adjectives, and natural collocations related to statistical data reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting multi-clause sentences to report the chart data. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, revealing frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ("male... has showed"), articles ("an visible up-downs"), plurals, and prepositions within grammatical patterns ("at age group of 35 to 44"). These errors demonstrate the characteristics of this band where simple structures are generally controlled, but attempts at complex patterns frequently introduce mistakes. While these issues rarely impede overall communication, they persist throughout the text. Strengthening your control over basic agreements, article usage, and clause construction will significantly enhance your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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