Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates the ratio of Australian males and females of various ages did daily physical activity in year 2010.
Overall, women of all the ages have higher number of proportion as compared to men, who did exercise regularly.
Youngster males of age 15 to 24 solely showed great interest in physical activities as they had 52.8% of ratio that is significant number among all groups of men. Whereas, middle age of gents contributed least ratio of 39.5%. Remaining all the categories of the gents had almost same percentage of 42.2% to 47.1%. Beyond this, ladies of all years contributed a considerable number of ratio in workout. From 35 to 64, the ratio was almost same which was 53%. Similarly, age group of 15 and above, 45 to 54 and 65 and over all were at 47.7%,42.2%,43.1% and 47.1%,respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the task only partially and falls short of the 150-word minimum requirement, containing only 140 words. While you attempt to provide an overview and report some key data points from the bar chart, the information is sometimes inaccurate or confusingly presented. For example, your claim that 'women of all the ages have higher number of proportion as compared to men' is factually incorrect because men aged 15-24 actually recorded a higher participation rate (52.8%) than women in the same age group (47.7%). Furthermore, the concluding sentence contains a jumbled sequence of figures ('47.7%,42.2%,43.1% and 47.1%,respectively') that does not accurately reflect the chart data or follow proper referencing conventions. To reach a higher level, you must ensure your word count meets the minimum requirement, present data accurately without contradictions, and provide a clearer, well-supported overview of the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some basic organization in your writing, with an introductory sentence followed by an overview and body details, but there is no clear overall progression. Paragraphing is underutilized, as nearly the entire body of the response is crammed into a single block of text, which hinders the readability and flow of ideas. Cohesive devices are either repetitive or used inappropriately; for instance, transition phrases like 'Whereas' and 'Beyond this' feel mechanically forced rather than naturally integrated into the text. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which demographic group is being discussed. To improve, structure your response into distinct, logical paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive markers smoothly to connect comparisons and contrasts.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate for the task, featuring frequent awkward collocations and imprecise word choices. Phrases like 'ratio of Australian males', 'youngster males of age 15 to 24', 'middle age of gents', and 'ladies of all years contributed a considerable number of ratio in workout' sound unnatural and lack the formal, academic tone required for Task 1 writing. While you attempt some less common terms, inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'proportion', 'percentage', 'participation rate', and 'age bracket', while ensuring your collocations sound natural and appropriate for formal descriptions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You demonstrate a limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences interspersed with faulty attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, such as tense and article usage issues in your opening sentence ('various ages did daily physical activity in year 2010'), as well as awkward prepositions and subject-verb agreement slips. Errors in basic sentence construction can cause noticeable difficulty for the reader. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, work on complex sentence patterns containing relative clauses or participial phrases, and carefully check your verb forms, prepositions, and singular/plural nouns to ensure error-free writing.
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