Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The Percentage of Australian men and Woman doing regular physical activity like 2010 .

First of All , The Men is 15 years old and the percentage is 52.8 and the woman is 24 year old and the percentage is 47.7 and the next point is men age is 25 and percentage is 42.2 and woman is 34 and percentage is 48.9 and the men is 35 years old and percentage is 39.5 and the woman is 44 years old and percentage is 52.5 and next level is the men is 45 years old and the percentage is 43.1 and the woman is 54 years old and the percentage is 53.3 and the men is 55 years old and the percentage is 45.1 and the woman is 64 and percentage is 53 and the last level is the men is 65 years old and percentage is 46.7 and woman is over and percentage iis 47.1 its evry percentage of man and woman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and tangentially. While the writer attempts to report data from the chart, such as citing specific percentages like 52.8 and 47.7, there is no overall summary or meaningful comparison of the trends across age groups. Instead of selecting the main features and synthesizing the information, the text reads like a raw, unorganized data dump, listing individual figures mechanically. Furthermore, there is no clear overview provided of the general pattern of physical activity between men and women across different ages. To move to a higher band, the writer must step back from listing every single data point and instead identify key trends, make direct comparisons between genders, and present a clear overview statement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently in this response. The text consists of one single, extremely long, run-on sentence joined excessively by conjunctions like 'and', with no paragraph breaks or logical segmentation. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, and referencing is very weak, relying on repetitive phrases like 'and the woman is' and 'and the next point is'. This mechanical and repetitive linking fails to guide the reader through the data logically. To improve cohesion, the writer should break the text into logical paragraphs, introduce a clear introduction and overview, and use a variety of cohesive devices to structure the comparisons smoothly rather than stringing all clauses together with 'and'.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and restricted to simple terms directly lifted or adapted from the prompt, such as 'percentage', 'men', 'woman', and 'physical activity'. There are noticeable word choice and form errors, such as using 'Woman' instead of 'women', and awkward phrasing like 'the last level is the men is 65 years old and woman is over'. These errors and the extremely limited range strain the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of functional vocabulary for describing data trends, such as 'proportion', 'age bracket', 'significantly higher', and 'fluctuated', while ensuring correct word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, consisting almost entirely of one gigantic compound sentence strung together by coordinating conjunctions. Grammatical errors are frequent and severe, including missing articles, faulty subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The Men is 15 years old'), incorrect prepositions, and a total absence of standard punctuation such as full stops to separate independent clauses. These frequent errors distort meaning and make the text difficult to parse grammatically. To progress, the writer must focus on basic sentence boundaries, using full stops correctly, mastering subject-verb agreement, and attempting a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with accurate control over grammatical rules.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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