Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The chart illustrates the proportion of two genders on Australia, distributing in different age groups who have done physical exercise in a daily basis during the year 2010 .
Overall, both the two genders contributed in physical activites in 2010, while womens participated in a higher rate than males in the age od 35 to 44 . Males attented the physicial
activity less in the same age group. However in the age group of 15 to 24 males were the most
regular candidates.
First of all in the age of 15 to 24 males contribution were around 52% and womens dedicated 47.7 % of daily excercise. in the age of 25 to 34 the rate for men dropped to 42.2% whereas
female activity raise in a st
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at only 127 words. While the student attempts to summarise the chart by mentioning some data for the 15 to 24 and 25 to 34 age groups, the response is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence. Key features and comparisons across all age groups are largely omitted or only minimally touched upon, resulting in a very limited and undeveloped overview. To improve, the writer must ensure the full length requirement is met and present a complete summary covering the main trends for both genders across all categories provided in the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text exhibits basic attempts at organization, such as using 'Overall,' and 'First of all,' to introduce sections. However, the information is not arranged in a fully coherent manner, and the sudden truncation of the text severely disrupts the overall progression. Paragraphing is rudimentary, and cohesive devices are used repetitively or mechanically without establishing clear logical links between sentences. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as shifting abruptly between demographic groups without smooth transitions. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to structure the response into a logical introduction, a clear overview, and well-developed body paragraphs with smooth, accurate cohesive links.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring frequent word choice and word form errors that impede communication. Examples include 'proportion of two genders on Australia', 'womens participated', and 'physicial activity'. Phrases such as 'males contribution were around 52% and womens dedicated' demonstrate a lack of control over word families and collocations. Additionally, there are noticeable spelling errors like 'attented', 'excercise', and 'raise' instead of 'rose'. To improve, the student should expand their lexical range beyond the basic terms provided in the prompt and practice accurate word forms, parts of speech, and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple structures with frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent mistakes in prepositions ('on Australia', 'in the age of 15 to 24'), subject-verb agreement ('males contribution were', 'womens participated'), and article usage. The attempt to use a complex structure in the opening sentence is faulty, and the response ends with an unfinished sentence ('female activity raise in a st'). To progress, the student needs to demonstrate better control over basic grammatical structures, verb tenses, plurals, and prepositions while working toward incorporating error-free complex sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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