Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart demonstrates the fraction of Australian men as well as the individual in different age team who did regular phisical activity in 2010. Overall, female is the highest proportion of age groups whereas male exist lower percentage perform tangible task.

Looking in to more details, male stands at 52.8%in 15 years and female exist low proportion in 47.7% including 24 age. Additionally, after next years 25 to 34, it constitutes 39.5% male then rapidly increased upto 52.5%. Similarly, the next age 35 to 44, male represents minimal 39.5% as well as female boost at 52.5% in 2010.

In the terms of the 45 to 54 age the same

Way it occupied 43.1% and enhanced 53.3% of female which is the highest proportion of Australian women in 2010. Also another age 55 to 64, male exist 43.1% and rapidly increased upto 53%. Therefore the last years 65 constitutes 46.7% and boost over up to 47.1% respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting figures from the bar chart, but the information is presented in a very confused and inaccurate manner. For instance, the data points for males and females are frequently mixed up or misread, such as stating that 'male stands at 52.8% in 15 years and female exist low proportion in 47.7% including 24 age.' While an overview is attempted, it is unclear and inaccurate, claiming that 'female is the highest proportion of age groups whereas male exist lower percentage'. Key features and comparisons are poorly selected and not properly supported by the actual data provided in the visual prompt, leading to a minimal and confusing response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization lacks a clear logical progression. The transitions between sentences and ideas feel abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult to follow the writer's argument. Cohesive devices are used very mechanically or inappropriately, such as 'Additionally, after next years 25 to 34' and 'In the terms of the 45 to 54 age the same Way'. Referencing is also faulty, with pronouns like 'it' frequently used without a clear antecedent, causing confusion about whether the writer is referring to males, females, or specific age brackets.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous word-form, choice, and spelling errors that significantly impede communication. Examples of unnatural word choices and spelling mistakes include 'phisical activity', 'team' instead of 'group', and 'tangible task'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but these attempts are inaccurate, such as using 'enhanced' or 'boost' incorrectly to describe static data points in a bar chart. The range of vocabulary is limited and heavily relies on lifting terms directly from the prompt.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed simple and attempted complex sentences. There are frequent, noticeable errors in basic grammar, including missing prepositions, incorrect verb forms ('male exist lower percentage', 'female boost at 52.5%'), and faulty subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is also problematic, with broken sentences and awkward line breaks interrupting the flow. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader in trying to interpret the intended meaning of the sentences.

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