Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The chart illustrates the percentage of Australian males and females in different age groups who participated in regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart highlight the percentage of man with grey color in which lines are shown, as well as shows the percentage of woman with black color. Chart also gives the information about different age groups and the percentage.
The bar chart fluctuated, most of the times males are less participated in regular excercise then females. In the age group of 65 or over both genders are almost equaly did the regular excesice
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 95 words instead of the required 150. Consequently, the task is addressed only minimally. While the introduction correctly paraphrases the prompt, the overview and body paragraphs are extremely limited. The writer attempts to describe a few trends, such as males participating less than females in general and being equal in the final age group, but these points are under-developed and lack sufficient detail from the chart. Important data points and precise comparisons across the various age groups are largely omitted, leading to a tangential and incomplete summary of the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text suffers from poor organisation and a lack of clear progression, which is compounded by the severe shortness of the response. The writing is broken into very short, disjointed paragraphs that fail to structure the information logically. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'most of the times males are less participated' and 'Chart also gives'. Paragraphing is inadequate because the body of the response is fragmented rather than grouped into coherent thematic blocks, preventing any smooth flow of information from the introduction to the sparse conclusion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Vocabulary use is basic and repetitive, providing a limited range that is barely adequate for the task. The writer relies heavily on simple terms and makes noticeable word choice and form errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'males are less participated' (incorrect passive voice/adjective usage) and 'almost equaly did the regular excesice' (spelling errors such as 'equaly' and 'excesice', alongside awkward collocation). Attempts to use less common vocabulary are absent, and vocabulary control remains restricted throughout the short response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
Grammar and sentence structures are severely limited. The writer relies on simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures are faulty or missing. Frequent errors in verb forms, voice, and agreement appear throughout the text, such as 'The bar chart highlight' (subject-verb agreement error), 'males are less participated', and 'both genders are almost equaly did'. Punctuation is also erratic, with missing full stops and capitalisation slips. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate very limited control over grammatical range and accuracy.
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