Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar charts displays the rate at which Australian men and women in different age bracket participated in physical activity in 2010.

Overall, the chart shows that males between the age of 15 to 24 performed more physical activities than males from other age groups , they contituted more than half of the figure on the chart. On the side of the females, people from the age bracket 45 to 54 performed more physical activity than other females in different age groups.

To start with, the figure for people within the age of 15 to 24 in 2010 shows that the males dominated in physical activity by 52.8 percent while the female followed by 47.7%. Simalar trend is seen among people aged 45 to 54, but this time the females dominated by 53.3% while the figure for males were at 43.1%. Females within the age bracket of 35 to 44 also showed strong presence in physical activity by 52.5%.

How ever, the figure for people aged 65 and above shows just slight difference with females sitting at 47.1%, while the male figure was at 46.7.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially and lacks a fully developed overview. While the introduction attempts to outline the general topic, the body paragraphs focus heavily on isolated data points rather than providing a comprehensive summary of the main features and trends. For instance, the writer highlights specific percentages such as 52.8% for males aged 15 to 24 and 53.3% for females aged 45 to 54, but the comparisons between genders across different age groups are unevenly developed. The overview mentions selected peaks, such as the highest male and female participation groups, but fails to synthesise the broader trends shown in the chart, such as the contrasting age-related trajectories for men and women. To reach a higher band, the response needs to present a clearer, more holistic overview of the main trends and integrate more balanced comparisons across all age brackets without relying excessively on isolated data listing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the text into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding data point. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas, such as grouping the highest participation rates and contrasting the older age groups. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For example, transition phrases like 'To start with' and 'How ever' feel somewhat disjointed, and referencing devices are occasionally imprecise, which disrupts the natural flow of information. The logical progression is also slightly hindered by the piecemeal presentation of data points. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices, ensure smoother transitions between sentences, and establish a clearer logical progression that guides the reader seamlessly through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the chart, successfully employing terms such as 'percentage', 'age bracket', 'participation', and 'dominated'. However, the lexical range remains somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices that affect precision, such as 'The bar charts displays' (subject-verb agreement/word form error) and the spelling mistake 'Simalar'. Additionally, phrases like 'performed more physical activity' are repeated rather than varied with synonyms like 'engaged in' or 'took part in'. To achieve a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of less common lexical items related to data reporting, improve word choice and collocation precision, and eliminate basic spelling and grammatical-lexical slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple statements combined with some basic complex forms. While there are some error-free structures, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors occur throughout the text. Examples include article omission and misuse in 'the figure for males were at 43.1%' (plural/singular agreement error) and spacing issues in 'How ever'. Complex sentence attempts often contain structural flaws, such as run-on clauses linked improperly by commas (e.g., 'males from other age groups , they contituted'). Punctuation control is also inconsistent. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex grammatical structures with a higher proportion of error-free sentences, paying closer attention to subject-verb agreement, plurals, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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