Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart illustrates the proportion of Australian male and female in various body-strengthening excercise in 2010.
overall, women are doing more physical activity than men. Most of the age group female are above compare to male. Men are ahead only in 15 to 24 years age group. And other hand female are more in other age group. In both men and female we clearly see fluctuation as age is rise.
Male are dominated in 15 to 24 age group. Female are way ahead than male in other age group.Male show downgrade to 35 to 44 age group than it display upward to 65 and above age group. Means male category show fluctuationa as age is increase.
on the other hand, female are low first than grew slowly slowly to 55 to 64 and make declined in 65 and above age group. Men are achieve its peak in 15 to 24 age group. Female are achive its peak in 45 to 54 age group. So final thought is in Australia women are doing more physical workout compare to men.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making comparisons between men and women across different age groups. An overall trend is identified, noting that women generally participated in higher percentages of physical activity than men, except in the youngest bracket. However, some parts of the response are under-developed or contain inaccuracies in data reporting, such as misidentifying the peak age group for women (stated as 45 to 54 instead of 35 to 44 in one place, though 45-54 is indeed the highest female value at 53.3%) and misinterpreting the specific chart details. The comparison between the genders is present throughout, but the lack of precise data integration keeps the development limited to a basic level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with an introduction, body paragraphs, and concluding thoughts, providing a discernible logical progression. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The use of transitional markers and cohesive devices is repetitive and awkward, such as starting multiple sentences with 'And other hand', 'On the other hand', or abrupt shifts like 'So final thought is'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas is somewhat disjointed, with repetitive observations about fluctuations appearing across multiple paragraphs rather than being neatly organised into clear trend and comparison sections.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the general trends, but it contains noticeable errors in word choice, form, and spelling. Phrases like 'body-strengthening excercise' (misspelled and imprecise for regular physical activity), 'age group female', and 'downgrade' instead of 'decrease' or 'decline' show an unstable control of less common lexical items. There are also awkward collocations and word forms such as 'Men are achieve' and 'fluctuationa'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect a limited and restricted lexical range that prevents the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical control is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in article usage ('the proportion of Australian male and female', 'in other age group'), subject-verb agreement ('as age is rise', 'female are low first'), and prepositional phrases. Additionally, punctuation is weak, with missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences like 'overall' and 'on the other hand'. Although some simple sentences are communicated clearly, the high frequency of basic structural errors and faulty complex attempts causes occasional difficulty for the reader.
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