Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar chart displays the percentage of Austrailian men and women with different age groups who did regular physical activity in the year 2010.

Overall, the most active gender in regular physical activity had been females although it varied with different age groups. While, men were more active in their prime years rather than in older ages.

The gender of males ranged from the ages of 15 to 24 were the most active appointed at 52.8%, their physical activity declined to 42.2% when they were aged from 25 to 34, as the age group increased their regular physical activity decreased and stood at 39.5% during the ages of 35 to 44. It then started increasing again from the ages of 45 to 54 which stood at 43.1%, 45.1% during 55 to 64 and 46.7% from 65 onwards, respectively.

Females on the other hand started from 47.7% ranged from 15 to 24. Their regular physical activity kept increasing through various age groups like, 48.9% at 25 to 34, 52.5% at 35 to 44, 53.3% at 45 to 54. It later decreased a little from the ages of 55 to 64 and then onwards, 53% and 47.1%, respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover both sexes and all six age groups, and most figures and trends are reported accurately. The overview identifies women as generally more active and notes the male pattern of falling and then rising; the body also correctly gives the male low point of 39.5% and the female peak of 53.3%. However, “the most active gender … had been females” is too broad: men lead in the youngest group, and women are not higher in every group. The overview would be stronger if it stated this contrast explicitly and highlighted that women exceed men from ages 25–64. Some descriptions, such as men being more active “in their prime years,” are unclear and do not precisely summarise the chart. Focus on clear, data-based comparisons rather than vague characterisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by separate paragraphs for men and women. The age-group figures are generally presented in sequence, and linking expressions such as “It then” and “on the other hand” help readers follow the account. This gives the report coherent progression. To make the organisation more effective, avoid mechanical or awkward transitions such as “While,” at the start of the overview sentence and “like,” before a list. The final paragraph could also compare the sexes directly, rather than reporting the female figures in isolation. More precise links between the overview and the key comparisons would make cohesion smoother and less dependent on repeated sequencing phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “declined,” “increasing,” and “decreased,” so the main trends are understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “the most active appointed” does not convey a meaningful chart feature, “ranged from the ages” is not idiomatic, and “prime years” is vague in this context. There is also a spelling error in “Austrailian.” Repeated use of “ages” and “regular physical activity” makes the description less flexible. Choose standard expressions such as “the proportion of men,” “the figure fell to,” and “the rate rose,” and use “age group” consistently. These changes would make the vocabulary more accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “although,” “as,” and “while,” and the intended meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “men and women with different age groups” uses an incorrect preposition, while “The gender of males ranged from the ages…” has an unclear and faulty sentence structure. “While, men…” is an incomplete clause with incorrect punctuation, and “Females … started from 47.7% ranged from 15 to 24” combines structures incorrectly. Improve control by using straightforward patterns such as “Among men aged 15–24, the figure was…” and checking that each sentence has a complete main clause. Accurate sentence boundaries and parallel phrasing would reduce these errors.

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