Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given bar graphs compare the proportion of australian man and women in certain age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, it is clearly seen that the percentage of individuals had regular physcial activities significantly considerable. At the age group of under 24 to15 had the largest proportion joined physical activity of men however at the agee of senior women had the largest percentage at 45 to 54.

In the physcial activites has become more men was joined regular at the age of 15 to 24 had the largest and women become at 47.7.similarly adults could be doing regular activities of women increased significantly at 48.9% to 53.3%at the age of 45 to 54 which particularly beome the highest women group.

In contrast, the percentage of men in 35 to 44age group had the lowest which incresed to approximatley 40 to 46.7% at elder age 65 and over and women declined steadily at 6% in 45 age group to 0ver 65 group.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and make an attempt to summarise overall patterns, including the high male figure among the youngest group and the rise in women’s activity through middle age. However, the overview is unclear and contains inaccurate comparisons: women’s highest rate is at ages 45–54, not among “senior women,” and the youngest men’s rate is not the largest overall, since women reach 53.3%. The final sentence also misreports the female decline as “6%”; the actual fall from 45–54 to 65 and over is 6.2 percentage points. Several figures and trends are mentioned, but the main features are only minimally and sometimes inaccurately reported. Make the overview precise, then compare the sexes and key age-group changes accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs attempting to describe details. You also use linking expressions such as “Overall,” “similarly,” and “In contrast.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because several sentences combine unrelated or incomplete ideas. For example, “In the physcial activites has become more men was joined regular” does not clearly connect the figures to a trend, and the final sentence shifts from men to women without a clear transition. Some comparisons are repeated while other relationships remain unclear. Organise the details by sex or by age trend, and use shorter, complete sentences with clear references to the figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “percentage,” “increased,” “declined,” and “age group,” so the reader can recognise the topic and intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “percentage of individuals had regular physcial activities significantly considerable” and “largest proportion joined physical activity” are not natural ways to describe chart data. Spelling errors, including “physcial,” “activites,” “agee,” and “incresed,” also reduce clarity. Build a reliable set of expressions for describing rates and trends, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the response includes some comparative structures, such as “women increased … to 53.3%” and “men … which increased.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors frequently obscure the intended meaning. For example, “the percentage of individuals had regular physical activities” lacks a clear grammatical relationship, while “men was joined” has incorrect verb construction and agreement. The sentence beginning “In the physical activities has become” is also incomplete or incorrectly formed. Articles, plurals, and punctuation around figures are inconsistent. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences first, then add comparisons using accurate past-tense verbs and clear clauses.

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