Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart give information about the Australia people Men and Womens age groups who did regular activites in 2010.

In 2010,man did more physical activites in the age of 15 to 24 the ratio of the females or less than according to the mans . Man did more exercise, according to the age of 25 to 34 there are some new changes according to their ages Now,Femails are to much active to male . They are to much hardworker according to their ages in 2010,According to the age of 35 to 44 the male are at 39.5 percent and the womens are 52.5 percent the womens are too much active and according to the age of 45 to 54 there are also some changes there are to much female are working in their life. And in the age of 55 to 64 the womens are working 53 percent and the male are at 45 percent there are some house wifes who help at their are home and their buissness and after the age og 65 and plus they got retired from all things and they are equal to both their percentage are same.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and include several relevant figures, such as 39.5% for men and 52.5% for women aged 35–44, and 53% for women aged 55–64. However, the response mainly lists age groups rather than summarising the chart’s main patterns. It misses the key overview: men are more active only in the youngest group, while women lead in every other group; women’s rate peaks at 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds, and men’s is lowest at 39.5% among 35–44-year-olds. The claim that both sexes have the same percentage at 65 and over is inaccurate (46.7% versus 47.1%). Explanations about housewives, hard work and retirement are not supported by the chart. Focus on accurate comparisons and an overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic chronological sequence through the age groups, and phrases such as “according to the age of 35 to 44” help signal which data you are discussing. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, with ideas joined by repeated “and” and “according to” rather than clearly organised into an introduction, overview and detail. Several transitions are confusing, including “Man did more exercise” followed by “Now, Femails are to much active,” because the change in comparison is not clearly explained. The final sentence also combines retirement, equality and percentages without a clear logical link. Group the information into paragraphs and use concise comparisons to make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes relevant basic terms such as “physical activities,” “age groups,” “percentage” and “active,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or unsuitable for describing chart data. “Hardworker,” “house wifes” and “retired from all things” introduce unsupported ideas, while “ratio” is not the right term for the figures shown. Spelling errors such as “Femails,” “activites,” “buissness” and “womens” also make the writing less clear. Aim for precise chart language and avoid explanations about people’s lifestyles that the visual does not provide. Useful alternatives include “proportion,” “participation rate” and “higher than.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect information in longer sentences, for example, “according to the age of 35 to 44 the male are at 39.5 percent and the womens are 52.5 percent.” However, sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent, sometimes making relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “The bar chart give information,” “In 2010,man did,” and “the male are,” which show problems with subject–verb agreement, articles and number. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, particularly where several clauses run together. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine comparisons using controlled structures such as “Women recorded a higher rate than men in…”.

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