Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates ratio of Australian men and women in different age grups doing regular physical fitness activities in year 2010.

Overall it can be seen that,in year 2010 middle aged people limited time to choose fitness activity while citizens aged are similer to choose adopt excersise.

to begin with, proportion of Australian 15 to 24 youngster boys 52.8 to girls 47.7 most of the male are active and female average of excercise while, 25 to 34 aged people male 42.2 and female 48.99 lowest for male and highest to female actived although , 35 to 44 39.5 lowest and 52.2 to highest for excercise in aged.

however, in aged 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 individuals male similiar activities and female are both of same excercise also citizens aged gruops 46.7 male and 47.1 nearst fitness activities in aged people in year 2010 prpotion of Australian men and women doing daliy basis fitness activities of bbar chart indicates the infomation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and include several relevant figures, such as 52.8% for young men and 42.2% for men aged 25–34. However, the response reports the main features only minimally, and the overview is unclear: “middle aged people limited time to choose fitness activity” does not accurately describe the data. The chart shows women’s activity rates exceeding men’s in every age group except 15–24, while men’s rate falls to a low at 35–44 and then rises. Some figures are also inaccurate: women aged 35–44 are at 52.5%, not 52.2%, and the 25–34 female figure is 48.9%, not 48.99%. A clearer overview and accurate comparisons across the age groups would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and transitions such as “to begin with” and “however” show an effort to connect ideas. Nevertheless, the information does not progress clearly. The overview is difficult to interpret, and the final paragraph combines several age groups with a repeated description of the chart, making the comparisons hard to follow. Long, loosely connected sentences—for example, the sentence beginning “to begin with, proportion of Australian 15 to 24…”—also obscure which figures belong to which group. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate, clearly ordered comparisons in the body; connect each sentence to a specific age group.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “age groups,” “active” and “fitness activities,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choice or spelling often strains understanding. Phrases such as “limited time to choose fitness activity,” “average of excercise,” and “nearst fitness activities” do not express the intended comparisons clearly. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “grup,” “similer,” “excersise” and “prpotion.” Choose precise chart language and check spelling: for example, describe a rate as “higher” or “lower,” and use “participated in regular physical activity” rather than “choose fitness activity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic comparison patterns, including “male 42.2 and female 48.99,” but sentence control is weak. Frequent errors in articles, agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries make several statements difficult to understand. For example, “Overall it can be seen that,in year 2010 middle aged people limited time” lacks clear grammatical structure, while “most of the male are active” has an agreement error. The body sentences often run together without reliable punctuation, particularly the sentence beginning “to begin with.” Practise writing short, complete sentences first, with a clear subject and verb, then add comparisons using patterns such as “The figure for women was higher than that for men.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.