Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The bar graph illustrate the Australian men and women of distinguished of ages who do daily physical activities.

The graph illustrate that hightest percentage of women who do regular exercises which were 45-54 aged despite this 65 and over aged women percentage were lower in 2010. Further more 2010 the 15-25 aged group do regular excerise and the lowest aged group were 35-44 aged.

The bar chart evaluate the different age if group who did regularly excerise meanwhile women was excerised on regular basis which are 35 to 64 aged group which were the greater then 50 percent. on the other hand 15-25 aged group men were

daily excerise has above to 52 percent enven through the lowest percentage of men was 35-44 aged group which are 39.2 percent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify relevant features, including the female peak in the 45–54 age group and the male low among those aged 35–44. However, the account is incomplete and some details are inaccurate: women’s highest figure is 53.3% at ages 45–54, while the 65-and-over figure is 47.1%; men’s lowest is 39.5%, not 39.2%. The statement that women aged 35–64 were all above 50% is also inaccurate, as the 35–44 figure is 52.5%, but the 55–64 figure is 53% and the 45–54 figure is 53.3%—these are above 50%; the age range is broadly correct, though the comparison needs clearer reporting. There is no clear overview of the main gender pattern across the age groups, and the response is 21 words below the required minimum. Include a concise overview and accurately compare the figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response makes some attempt to organise information into separate paragraphs and uses linking expressions such as “Further more” and “on the other hand.” These help signal addition and contrast, but the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs do not clearly separate an overview from detailed comparisons. Several sentences are incomplete or confusing, particularly the final sentence, which breaks off after “men were” before restarting with “daily excerise.” Connections between ideas are also sometimes unclear, as in “despite this 65 and over aged women percentage were lower.” Use a simple structure: introduction, overview, then comparisons by gender or age. Make each sentence express one complete comparison and use linking words only where the relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” “regular physical activity,” and “lowest,” so the reader can recognise the topic and intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “distinguished of ages,” “the graph evaluate,” and “women was excerised.” Repeated use of “excerise” and “aged group” also makes the description less precise, while spelling errors such as “hightest” and “enven” reduce clarity. Choose standard chart language and vary it carefully: for example, describe figures as “the proportion who exercised regularly” and say that one figure “was higher than” another. Check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and some intended comparisons can be understood. However, sentence structures are often faulty, which makes relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “The bar graph illustrate” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “The graph illustrate that hightest percentage of women…” lacks a complete grammatical structure. In “women was excerised,” the verb form and agreement are incorrect, and the final sentence contains a broken construction after “men were.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need more consistent control. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “The highest proportion of women exercising regularly was in the 45–54 group.” Then check agreement and punctuation.

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