Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The chart depicts the percentage of men and women in Australia doing physical exercise of different age group.

According to the chart in 2010 the share of women doing physical exercise beats that of men in different age groups.Only one time percentage of men beat women in doing workouts that is in the age group of 15 to 24. that is almost 6 percent.

In the age group of 25 to 34 it the woman percent above the men

In the population of 35 to 44 it is highest of women who is exercising more than men.

In the set of 45 to 54 it is women whose share 10 percent above to men.

And 55 to 64 the womens share is again highest and in 65 and above it is slightly women above to that of men

By this information it is that the women whose the one spending time on exercise

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad pattern that women recorded higher activity rates in most age groups, and you correctly note that men led among 15–24-year-olds. However, the overview is not fully accurate: women did not lead in every other group by the same margin, and the gap at 45–54 was about 10 percentage points, not simply a general pattern. Several comparisons are vague or incomplete, such as “slightly women above” for the oldest group, where the figures are 47.1% for women and 46.7% for men. The response also omits the main trend that men’s rate fell to a low among 35–44-year-olds before rising, while women’s rate peaked around middle age. Select key figures and summarise these trends more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows the age groups in chart order, which gives the reader a basic sequence, and phrases such as “In the age group” signal comparisons. However, the ideas are presented as a series of loosely connected statements rather than a clearly organised summary. There is no distinct overview paragraph, and the final sentence (“By this information…”) does not clearly conclude the report. Some links are repetitive, while transitions between age groups are abrupt; for example, the 25–34 and 35–44 comparisons are separate fragments of the same pattern. Grouping the data into an overview followed by two comparison paragraphs—such as younger groups and older groups—would make the progression easier to follow and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “share,” “age group,” and “highest,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or unnatural for an academic chart description. “Beats” and “workouts” sound informal, while “the woman percent” and “the womens share” are awkward formulations. Repeating “share” and “doing physical exercise” also limits variety. Aim for precise terms such as “proportion,” “rate,” and “participation,” and use standard collocations such as “the proportion of women who exercised.” More accurate vocabulary would help communicate comparisons without relying on vague phrases like “slightly women above.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts several sentence forms, including comparisons and clauses beginning with “According to the chart,” but control is inconsistent and many sentences contain errors that make the relationships harder to understand. For example, “in different age group” lacks plural agreement, and “In the age group of 25 to 34 it the woman percent above the men” is missing a verb and has an unclear structure. The sentence about 45–54 also lacks a clear verb (“it is women whose share 10 percent above to men”). Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including missing spaces after full stops. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, for example: “Women’s rate was higher than men’s in the 25–34 group.”

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