Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given bar chart describe the comparisons of differents ages of Australian men and women in 2010.

Firstly, with the help of bar chart we can do describe the comparisons of Australian men and women physical activity in percentage in 2010.In bar chart 15 to 24 ages level men and women perform 52.8 and 47.7 percent physical activity.25 to 34 ages men and women perform 42.2. and 48.9 percent physical activity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and report two relevant age groups, including the figures for men and women aged 15–24 and 25–34. However, the response is only a partial summary: it stops before describing the remaining four groups and gives no overview of the main trends, such as women’s higher activity rates in most age groups or the male peak among 15–24-year-olds. The 25–34 figures are present, though the punctuation makes them less clear. The response also contains only 71 words, well below the required 150, so there is not enough coverage to fulfil the task. Include a concise overview and select key comparisons across all age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the chart and then begins reporting figures for two age groups. The transition word “Firstly” signals that details will follow, but the response ends without completing the account or providing a concluding overview, so progression is limited. The opening sentence and the next sentence also repeat the idea of describing comparisons rather than moving directly into the data. Punctuation and spacing make the figures harder to follow, particularly in “2010.In” and “42.2. and 48.9”. To improve organisation, use a brief introduction, a separate overview, and one or two paragraphs grouping the main comparisons; connect these sections with clear, purposeful linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “bar chart”, “percentage”, “physical activity”, and the age-group labels, so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or unnatural, especially “we can do describe the comparisons” and “perform … physical activity”. “Differents ages” is also an inaccurate word form, while “ages level” is not a natural way to refer to age groups. These choices make the description less precise, even though the key figures can still be understood. Aim for concise chart language and vary verbs appropriately—for example, describe participation rates as “stood at” a percentage or say that a group “engaged in regular physical activity”.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with little variety in clause structure. There are clear errors in agreement and verb construction: “The given bar chart describe” should use a singular verb, and “we can do describe” contains an unnecessary verb. The phrase “men and women perform 52.8 and 47.7 percent physical activity” also lacks a clear grammatical structure for reporting the figures. Missing spaces after full stops and the extra full stop in “42.2. and” further affect punctuation. These errors do not make the reported data wholly unintelligible, but they reduce clarity and control. Practise accurate reporting structures such as “The figures for men and women were…” and check sentence boundaries.

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