Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Introduction:

the bar chat show the six sector of australian men and women in different age group their physical activity from the year of 2010

Overview:

percentage of australian men and woman the physical activity can be devide in to different age agroup sime time the were flaqucate in different age group. afairst of all we have discusse the man physical activity in the age of 15 to 65 at the age of 15 the man physical activity were increase but at the time the man age will be increase the physical activity will be decrees .that showes in this graf at the age of 15 the physical activity were stand at 52.8 but after time to time there age were increase there physical activity were stand 46.7at the age of the 65.then we were discuees the australian woman regular physical activity will be increase after time to time that we can see the graf that at the agr of 15 to 24 there physical activity were stand at the opint of 47.7 but age were be increase ther physical activity will be increase at the age of 65 and over.

Conclusion:

in the end we get result from the graf the australian men and women regular physical activity at 10 year the men reular physical activity will be decrees .when there age will be increase. on the other hand the australian women regular physical activity will be increase when there age will be increase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and make a relevant comparison between male and female activity, including several accurate figures: men are at 52.8% in the youngest group and 46.7% in the oldest, while women rise from 47.7% to 47.1% overall. However, the central trends are misreported. Men do not steadily decline with age: their rate falls to 39.5% at 35–44, then rises. Women do not steadily increase either: they peak at 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds before falling. The overview therefore gives an inaccurate summary, and several age-group comparisons are omitted. Focus on the main patterns and the point at which each trend changes, rather than describing the figures as a simple increase or decrease.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has identifiable sections for an introduction, overview and conclusion, and it attempts to organise the discussion by gender. This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, the overview becomes a long, difficult-to-follow paragraph that combines several ideas and repeats information later in the conclusion. Linking phrases such as “first of all,” “then,” and “on the other hand” are used, but they do not consistently clarify the relationships between points. The repeated references to “the age” and “physical activity” also make progression feel circular. Use separate, focused paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, and group figures by meaningful patterns rather than recounting each gender in a repetitive sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “regular physical activity,” “age group,” and “stand at,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain the reader’s understanding. Examples include “graf,” “decrees,” “flacquate,” and “discusse”; “increase” and “decrease” are also repeated without accurately describing the changing trends. Some phrases are unnatural, such as “six sector” and “at the opint of.” Build a small set of accurate terms for describing chart movement and comparison, such as “fell,” “reached a peak,” “recovered,” and “was higher than,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “but” and “when,” and the reader can sometimes infer the intended meaning. However, sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent, sometimes distorting the message. In “the man age will be increase,” the verb form and sentence construction are faulty; “the australian women regular physical activity will be increase” has similar problems. Agreement, articles, plurals and tense are also inconsistent, as in “the man physical activity were increase.” Punctuation is often missing, creating run-on sentences. Practise accurate simple past-tense statements about the 2010 data first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while” or “whereas.”

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