Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of australian men and women in various age groups who are involving in daily physical excercise in 2010.Whereas the ratio of women are more greater than mens in many age groups.
As the group of age between 15 to 24,the number of mens are larger than women who are doing regular paractical activities.Almost 52.8% of mens are participated in daily physical exercises in 2010 as compared to womens are about 47.7% that are involved in activities.The age group between 65 or over than 65 there are almost equal ratio of mens and womens in australia who are participated in regular activities.
On the other hand, the age group between 25 to 64 in this age grioup there are mo
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies a relevant comparison: men have the higher figure among 15–24-year-olds, while the sexes are close among those aged 65 and over. It also begins to note that women are more active across the middle age groups. However, the report is incomplete and covers only a small part of the chart: it gives no clear overview of the main pattern, and the final sentence breaks off before reporting the 25–64 comparison. The claim that the older group has “almost equal” rates is broadly supported, but the key figures and trends for the other groups are missing. The response is 117 words, below the required 150 words; this limits how fully the task is addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, moving from an introduction to age-specific comparisons, and phrases such as “On the other hand” signal a contrast. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is not developed and the final paragraph ends mid-sentence: “there are mo”. The opening contrast about women being more active is not clearly connected to the details that follow. Some sentences also combine several ideas without clear structure, particularly the sentence about the 65-and-over group. Use complete paragraphs for an overview and the main comparisons, and make each sentence report one clear relationship between the age groups.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age groups,” and “regular physical” activity, so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or repetitive expressions make the report less clear, such as “daily physical excercise,” “regular paractical activities,” and “the ratio of women are more greater.” Spelling errors, including “australian,” “mens,” and “excercise,” also reduce accuracy. Choose precise chart language and avoid repeating “activities”: for example, describe the figures as participation rates and say that one group’s rate is higher than another’s. This would make comparisons clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts longer sentence forms, including a comparison introduced by “Whereas” and a sentence beginning “As the group of age between 15 to 24,” but these structures are often faulty. For example, “the ratio of women are” has subject–verb disagreement, and “52.8% of mens are participated” uses an incorrect verb form. The sentence about the 65-and-over group also has an unclear structure and repeated clauses. There is some control of basic sentence meaning, but errors in agreement, articles, and verb patterns frequently make the reader work to understand the comparisons. Practise writing short, complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs before combining them into more complex structures.
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