Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar chart delineates the percentage of Australian men and women in various age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, physical activity in young men was recorded as the highest, and this percentage fell dramatically across different age groups, but the it is recovered, while physical activity in women started at the lowest and increased with the passage of time across different age groups and fell dramatically.

Physical activity in men in early age 15 to 24 recorded at high of 52. 8 and declined rapidly to 39.5 in the age group of 35 to 44, but it is then experienced sharp increase and reached to 46.7 acoss the age group of 65 and over.

Women across the age of 15 to 24 recorded 47.7 and this figure sharply increased across the different age groups and recorded the highest of 53.3 in the age group of 45 to 54. However, this figure declined with the passage of time and reached to lowest of 47.1 in the age group of 65 and over.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the chart’s subject and report the main patterns for both sexes, including the male decline to 39.5% at ages 35–44 followed by a recovery, and the female rise to a peak of 53.3% at ages 45–54 before falling. The figures you give are accurate, and the overview makes a useful comparison between the overall trends. However, “young men was recorded as the highest” is too broad: men are highest only in the youngest group, while women exceed men in every other age group. The overview also says women’s activity “fell dramatically,” which overstates the relatively modest final decline. Make the gender comparison explicit across the age groups and describe the changes more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing men and women. This makes the information easy to locate, and transitions such as “but” and “However” help signal changes in direction. Cohesion is less effective where the overview compresses several trends into one long sentence, particularly “but the it is recovered,” and where “across different age groups” is repeated. The sequence of figures is generally logical, but the comparison between the sexes is not developed as a linking thread. Use shorter, clearer overview sentences and connect the two series directly—for example, noting that women’s rates were higher in all groups except 15–24.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined rapidly,” “sharp increase,” “highest,” and “declined.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and the chart-related vocabulary is generally appropriate. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, however: “physical activity in young men was recorded as the highest” does not clearly specify that this applies only to the youngest group, while “increased with the passage of time” suggests a chronological time series rather than age categories. “Recorded at high of” and “reached to” are also awkward collocations, and “acoss” is a spelling error. Prefer concise, conventional reporting phrases such as “stood at,” “rose to,” and “the rate among women.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses joined with “but” and “while,” and most of the intended comparisons can be understood. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “but the it is recovered” contains an unnecessary pronoun and an unclear verb form; “Physical activity in men in early age 15 to 24 recorded at high of 52.8” lacks a clear subject–verb structure and article; and “reached to 46.7” uses an incorrect verb pattern. There are also punctuation and spacing slips, such as the space before “Australian.” Build sentences around clear subjects (“The male figure…”) and check articles, verb forms, and patterns such as “reached 46.7”.

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