Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This bar chart provides the information about australian men and women who did physical activities on regular bases in diffrent age groups.

Overall, Women were more physically actived then men in mostly all ages while in early ages men were more activated.Women experienced gradual increase.

In teen age, men were more physically activated then women such as 52.8% and 47.7% repectively. But In between 25 and 34 years, men faced a dramatic decline of almost 10% whereas women slightly increased to 48.9%. As they reached at the range of 35 to 44 , men again gradually fell to 39.5 and women followed upward trend.

As they reached between 45 and 54 , men gradually surged to 43.1% as women still took small steps and reached to 53.3%. In the old age , men gained 2% more while women experienced slight decrease . In their final ages Both male and female almost remained same in term of physical activity 46.7% and 47.1% repectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response selects the main pattern accurately: men lead in the youngest group, while women have higher participation in the other five groups. It also reports several key figures correctly, including 52.8% versus 47.7% among 15–24-year-olds and the final figures of 46.7% and 47.1%. The overview identifies the broad gender contrast, and the body tracks the changes across age groups. This is a clear, relevant account with supporting data. However, “Women experienced gradual increase” overgeneralises: female participation rises to 53.3% at ages 45–54, then falls slightly in the next two groups. The overview would be stronger if it also highlighted that women peak in middle age and that men reach their low point at 35–44 before recovering.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to age-group comparisons, and the sequence broadly follows the chart from youngest to oldest. Linking expressions such as “whereas,” “as,” and “in the final ages” help connect comparisons, so the reader can follow the main progression. To make the organisation more controlled, use clearer paragraphing and avoid beginning several sentences with “As they reached,” which makes the progression sound repetitive. Some references are also unclear: “In the old age” does not specify which age group, and “men gained 2% more” could mean a rise from the previous group rather than a comparison with women. More precise transitions and explicit age labels would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for describing trends and comparisons, including “dramatic decline,” “upward trend,” “surged,” and “slight decrease.” These attempts give the account some variety beyond basic terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “physically actived,” “more activated,” “faced a dramatic decline,” and “took small steps.” Spelling errors, including “diffrent” and “repectively,” are also noticeable. These issues make the language less precise, even though the intended meaning is generally recoverable. Aim for standard chart-description phrases such as “were physically active,” “participation fell,” and “increased gradually,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, including comparisons with “whereas” and time clauses beginning with “as.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors recur in sentence construction and grammatical forms. For example, “Women were more physically actived then men” has an incorrect form and comparison structure, while “As they reached at the range of 35 to 44” uses an unnecessary preposition and an awkward clause pattern. There are also problems with articles, capitalization, and punctuation, as in “In teen age” and “Both male and female.” To improve, build accurate comparison patterns (“women were more active than men”) and use complete, clearly punctuated sentences while retaining the complex structures you are attempting.

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