Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates the parcentage of Australian men and women in many age groups whos dis their regular excercise in the year 2010.

In the age 45 to 54 women are very active in exercise whereas the man are less interest in physical exercise at the age of 35 to 44.

Most of the younger man are interested in physical exercise and the percentage is 52.8 though at this age women are less interest and it is below the half. In rest of the ages under 65, this physical activity trends to follow flactuation and it is in between 40% ti 54%,wheares women are always higher than men. At the age 45 to 54 women are too much interested on doing physical exercise and it is 53.3% moreover at this age,only 43.1% men are interested to do physical exercise.

In the age 35 to 44, men are less curious to attend their physical exercise and this percentage is only 39.5, however women in this age doing physical exercise than 13% high. in 65

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant comparisons, including the male peak among 15–24-year-olds (52.8%) and the female peak at 45–54 (53.3%), and you note that women exceed men in several adult groups. However, the response does not provide a clear, complete overview of the chart’s main pattern. It misses that men are higher only in the youngest group, while women lead in every other age group, and it does not accurately summarise the overall trends. Some comparisons are vague, such as saying activity fluctuates between 40% and 54%, and the final reference to age 65 and over is unfinished. Select the key contrasts and describe them accurately in a concise overview before supporting them with figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some grouping of related information: the response discusses younger men first and then compares the 35–44 and 45–54 groups. Linking words such as “though,” “however” and “moreover” show attempts to connect ideas. Nevertheless, the information is not arranged into a clear progression, and there is no distinct overview to guide the reader. The repeated focus on the 35–44 and 45–54 groups, followed by the abrupt ending “in 65,” makes the account feel incomplete and difficult to follow. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and paragraphs comparing the age groups. Use references such as “this group” only when their meaning is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “physical activity,” “fluctuation” and “interested,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “do their regular exercise,” “less interest,” “curious to attend their physical exercise” and “too much interested.” Spelling errors, including “parcentage,” “excercise” and “flactuation,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise chart language and natural collocations rather than describing participants’ interest: for example, say that a proportion “engaged in regular physical activity” or that one figure “was higher than” another. Proofreading would help correct recurring spelling slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences with contrast, as in “Most of the younger man are interested … though at this age women are less interest.” These attempts show some range, but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to interpret. Examples include “In the age 35 to 44, men are less curious … and this percentage is only 39.5,” where the phrasing and clause structure are unclear, and “women in this age doing physical exercise than 13% high,” which lacks a correctly formed verb and comparison. There are also agreement and article problems, such as “the man are.” Practise complete comparative sentence patterns and check verb forms, agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.