Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This chart shows that the pecentage of Australian men in the age of 15 to 24 is more than the womens.They workout more than the womans and maintain their health to do physical activities daily.In this age the womans physical activities are less comparely to the mans.And in the age of 25 to 34 mens become lazy and timeless. Their focus is on work and achieve a promotion goal to become successful. They have no time for physical actives,health and for family. They does"not pay attention to his health and family membors. In the other side,the woman's focuses on her health and do thier physical activities more than the men. Above the age of 25 the women's focus on health and diet. In the age of 35 to 44 the women's are above the men.The men's are slowly down and much busy in thier schedule. Above the age of 35 to 64 the woman's percentage is higher then men's. In my opinion this is not fair. Men should do thier physical activities daily. They maintain their time for work and time out for physical activities and for family. In the age of 65 and over the men's and woman's percentage of physical activities are likely same.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad contrast that men have the higher figure in the youngest group, while women are higher across most later age groups, and you note that the rates are similar among people aged 65 and over. However, the response only minimally reports the chart: it gives no percentages and does not clearly summarise the overall pattern, such as men’s rate falling to a low at ages 35–44 before rising, while women’s rate peaks around ages 45–54. Much of the response shifts to unsupported explanations about men being “lazy,” work, promotion, and family, followed by advice and an opinion that the pattern is “not fair.” These do not answer the chart-summary task. Focus on accurate comparisons and key figures, without speculation or personal judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence through the age groups, and phrases such as “In the age of 35 to 44” and “In the age of 65 and over” help signal which data you are discussing. However, the response has no clear overview or paragraph structure, and the progression is repeatedly interrupted by explanations and advice about men’s priorities. Several linking phrases are awkward or unclear, including “In the other side” and “Above the age of 35 to 64,” which makes the comparisons harder to follow. Group the information into an introduction and overview, followed by a paragraph comparing the age-group figures. Use clear links such as “whereas” and “by contrast,” and ensure each sentence advances the chart description.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “percentage,” “physical activities,” “age,” and “health,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain understanding: examples include “pecentage,” “womans,” “comparely,” “timeless,” and “membors.” Some expressions are also unsuitable for an objective chart summary, particularly “become lazy” and “not fair.” Aim for precise, neutral language to describe data, such as “participation rate,” “higher than,” “declined,” and “increased.” Check spelling and use natural collocations; for example, describe people as “doing regular physical activity,” rather than repeatedly referring to “doing their physical activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses short, simple statements, with occasional attempts to join ideas, so the range of sentence structures is limited. Frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “They does” should be “They do,” and “the woman's focuses” needs a plural subject and matching verb, such as “women focus.” The sentence “In the age of 65 and over the men's and woman's percentage … are likely same” also has problems with number, possessives, and sentence construction. Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and an unclear apostrophe in “does

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