Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart compares proportion of Australian male and female of different age group who do physical excercises in 2010.

Overall, younger males generation do more excercises than females among majority of all. While, Womens from mid age group accounted for more physical activity than mens but older people of both genders have same amount of proportion of excercises.

The age group of 15 to 24 , around 52.8 percentage of mens involved in physical activity than 47.7 percentage of women. but graph of men shrink to 42.2 percent as comapre to increases in women graph from age group of 25 to 34 people, In contrast, the female gender physical activity increases and reached to 52.5 percent in mid age group where males experienced the negative growth.

Additionaly, from 35 to 64 age numbers the women remained ahead from males in terms of excercises where mens steadly increases to 45 percent throughout this womens maintain at around 53% in numbers but as the numbers reach to 65 and over age group the both gender come around 46-47 percent respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main gender pattern and gives a relevant overview: men lead in the youngest group, women are ahead across the middle age groups, and the figures converge among those aged 65 and over. It also includes several accurate figures, such as 52.8% and 47.7% for the youngest group and about 46–47% in the oldest group. This covers the task well, with some features more fully reported than others. However, the overview says younger men are more active than women “among majority of all,” which overgeneralises: men lead only in the 15–24 group. The account of the middle groups is also imprecise; for example, women peak at 53.3% in the 45–54 group, not 52.5% in the mid-age group. More precise comparisons across each age band would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. Its progression from the youngest group to older groups is generally easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “In contrast” and “Additionally” help signal comparisons. However, some connections are awkward or unclear. The overview’s “While” begins a fragment-like contrast, and the long sentence starting “but graph of men shrink” combines several age groups and trends without clear boundaries. “Additionaly, from 35 to 64 age numbers” also makes the paragraph’s scope difficult to interpret. Use shorter sentences and organise the details consistently by age group, with clear references to both sexes, to make cohesion less mechanical and the progression more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses relevant chart vocabulary, including “proportion,” “accounted for,” “increases,” and “remained ahead,” so the reader can understand the general comparisons. However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors reduce precision. Examples include “physical excercises,” “mens,” “negative growth,” and “same amount of proportion of excercises.” “Shrink” is also an unsuitable choice for a percentage falling, while “numbers” is vague when describing percentages. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “the proportion fell,” “women recorded a higher rate,” and “the figures were similar.” Careful spelling and consistent use of “men” and “women” would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts at complex sentences and comparisons, but the range is limited and complex constructions are often faulty. For example, “Overall, younger males generation do more…” has problems with number agreement and sentence structure, while “While, Womens from mid age group accounted…” does not form a complete, well-connected contrast. In “the both gender come around 46-47 percent,” the article and verb form are inaccurate. Punctuation is also inconsistent, including the comma after “While” and the lower-case “but” after a full stop. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “whereas” or “while”; check articles, plurals, and subject–verb agreement.

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