Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The bar graph illustrates the proportion between males and females in Australia according to age and gender participating regular exercise in 2010.

Overall, females took part in regular physical activity in most age groups, except the 15-24 age group. In addtion, the highest rate of women was seen in 45 to 54 year olds, whereas men ha the highest percentage in 15-24 age category.

To begin with, the rate of men doing regular activity peaked at 52.8% in 15-24 age group, while women made up 47.7%. This male peak was not maintain in 25-34 and 35-44 age groups, where the male percentage were decreased to 39.5% in middle age. Consequently, the men rate increased gradually to around 47%, where the proportion between men and women were quite equal.

On the other hand, the rate of women gradually increased from 15 to 54 age groups, which top at 53.3% in the 45-54 age group. This rate was maintained in 55-64 age group. Then, the female rate decreased slightly in 65+ and over age group.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main pattern accurately: women recorded higher participation in every age group except 15–24, while the male figure was highest among the youngest adults. You also report several key values correctly, including 52.8% for young men and the female peak of 53.3% at ages 45–54. The response covers both sexes and gives a clear overview, with relevant comparisons. However, some details are imprecise: the male rate fell to 39.5% by ages 35–44, then rose to 46.7% among those aged 65 and over, rather than reaching around 47% where the sexes were “quite equal”; at that final age, the figures were 46.7% and 47.1%. The female rate also peaked at 45–54 before edging down to 53.0%, then 47.1%. More precise reporting of these later trends would strengthen the account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised clearly into an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs. The progression from the overall comparison to male figures and then female figures is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Overall,” “To begin with” and “On the other hand” help distinguish the sections. This gives the report a logical structure and a clear line of development. Some linking is less effective because it suggests relationships that are not fully explained: “Consequently” does not clearly follow from the preceding male decline, and “where the proportion between men and women were quite equal” is an unclear reference. The final paragraph also moves through the female trend quickly. Use transitions that precisely express sequence or contrast, and make comparisons explicit by naming both groups and their figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of topic vocabulary, including “proportion,” “participating,” “peaked,” “gradually increased” and “decreased slightly.” These choices allow you to describe the chart’s main trends, and the meaning is generally clear. However, some word combinations and forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the proportion between males and females,” “participating regular exercise,” and “the male percentage were decreased.” There are also spelling slips, including “addtion” and “maintain” where “maintained” is intended. Aim for more natural chart-reporting collocations and check spelling and word forms. For example, describe the “proportion of men and women who exercised regularly,” and say that a figure “fell” or “rose,” rather than using an unnatural passive construction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a contrast clause with “while” and a relative clause beginning “where.” Most of the information remains understandable, and the paragraph structure supports the meaning. Some grammatical errors nevertheless occur in verb forms, agreement and sentence construction. For example, “This male peak was not maintain” needs a past participle, and “the male percentage were decreased” has incorrect agreement and an unsuitable verb form. In “men ha the highest percentage,” the verb is incomplete, while “the proportion … were” also has a subject–verb agreement problem. Articles and age-group phrasing are sometimes missing or awkward. Review past-tense forms and singular/plural agreement, and build comparisons with complete, parallel clauses.

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