Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows the percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010.

The graph illustrate the men and women physical activities. Overall at the age of 54 women physical activities increase all over the period, However the man physical activities at age age of 15 are also increase and are very less and start to end it continously changed from 40 percent to 55 percent, The women physical activities are more high than the men.

The physical activities of men at the age of 15 is 52.8 percent, And then slow down to 39.5 percent at the age of 35 his physical activities are continously changed from 39.5 percent to 52.8 percent from age 15 to age 65, And also women she is better stamena from as compare to men, Her low physical activity is 47.1 percent at the age of 65 and hight activity at the age of 54 its 53.3 percent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and include some relevant figures, such as men at 52.8% in the youngest group and women at 53.3% in the 45–54 group. However, the overview is unclear and several claims misrepresent the data: women do not increase throughout, and men do not rise continuously from 39.5% to 52.8%; their rate falls first, then recovers to 46.7%. The statement that women are more active than men also needs qualification, since men lead in the youngest group. The response is one word below the 150-word minimum. To improve, give a clear overview of the main pattern and compare the sexes accurately across the age groups, selecting key figures to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to separate the response into an opening, an overview and a detail paragraph, and the reader can identify that you are comparing men’s and women’s activity. However, ideas are not arranged in a clear progression: the overview mixes trends, age references and a general comparison, while the final paragraph repeats figures without presenting them in a consistent sequence. Long sentences joined by “and” and “however” make relationships between points difficult to follow. Referencing is also unclear in phrases such as “his physical activities” and “Her low physical activity.” Organise the report into a concise overview followed by comparisons in age-group order, and use clear links such as “by contrast” only where the data supports them.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with “physical activities” used repeatedly where “activity rate” or “proportion” would be more precise. Some word choices and collocations make the meaning difficult to understand, including “slow down” for a falling percentage, “better stamena,” and “more high.” There are also spelling and form errors such as “continously” and “hight.” You do use relevant chart language, including “percentage” and “increase,” so there is a foundation to build on. Aim for accurate, task-specific terms and avoid describing the figures as people’s physical activities when you mean the percentage who exercised regularly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences, but control is limited and errors frequently affect clarity. For example, “The graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “at the age of 15 is 52.8 percent” lacks a clear grammatical structure. Tense and agreement are inconsistent, as in “women physical activities increase” and “the man physical activities … are also increase.” Several sentences are joined with commas or conjunctions without clear punctuation, making them run on. Use straightforward sentence patterns first: for example, “The proportion of men was 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds, then fell to 39.5% among those aged 35–44.” Check articles, plural forms, verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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