Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates the specific percentage of the australian mens and womens who also did regular physical activity in the different age of groups in the particular year 2010.

So,in the whole bar chart,intially the first group are included teenager and to the 24 years old people.In these men community are dominating as comapares to womens community accross 52.8% to 47.7%.Due to the fact that in the up next ages of people like,good young age 25 years to 34 years had change the the percentage of regular exercise and the women percentage increase.On the other next, the previous type of percentage had numerous increases like the age 35 to 6 years of people.But one common and intersting thing is that the people like 65 and above ages had been approxiamately are same.Some particular point of percentage are might be different but mostly are same.

All of the disscussion above,the common thing which i get is that the mans and womens odf ypung ages are up percentage by mans side,but all of the other sides like up and different ages of people in womwn category are increased the regular percentage of exercise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies a relevant comparison in the youngest group, reporting that men were at 52.8% and women at 47.7%, and it notices that the figures for people aged 65 and over were close. However, the chart is only minimally summarised: there is no clear, accurate overview of the main pattern across all age groups, and several descriptions are too vague to show what happened. For example, “the previous type of percentage had numerous increases” does not specify which sex or age group increased. The claim that men had higher activity in “young ages” also overgeneralises: men led only in the 15–24 group, while women were higher in every other group. Select the key trends and support them with clear comparisons across the age range.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving from an introduction to comments about age groups and then a concluding statement. Some linking expressions, such as “So” and “But,” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the age-group comparisons are not presented in a clear order and several sentences do not communicate a complete, identifiable point. Phrases such as “On the other next” and “All of the discussion above” do not establish clear relationships between ideas, while the conclusion repeats a broad claim rather than summarising the chart’s main pattern. Organise the body by age groups or by the contrasting male and female trends, and use straightforward links such as “whereas” and “by contrast” accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “regular physical activity,” “age,” and “increase,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is basic and many word choices or collocations are inaccurate, making the meaning strained. For instance, “men community” and “womens community” are not natural ways to describe the chart’s categories, and “the previous type of percentage had numerous increases” is unclear. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “intially,” “comapares,” “disscussion,” and “approxiamately.” Use precise chart language and check spelling carefully; terms such as “proportion,” “participation rate,” “higher than,” and “declined” would help describe the data more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and comparisons, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “the first group are included teenager,” “the women percentage increase,” and “the people like 65 and above ages had been approxiamately are same.” These show problems with sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, as in “So,in” and “chart,intially.” Most sentences would be clearer if built around a simple subject and verb, for example, “Women’s activity rates were higher than men’s in every age group except 15–24.” Practise accurate simple comparisons before adding more complex clauses.

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