Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The chart illustrates the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2020.

BODY PARAGRAPH:

Overall, we can see higest activity in this year 15 to 24 men doing activity 52.8 and female doing the activity 47.7 and other then the age lowest activity doing in there ages 65 and over is men doing the activity 46.7 and female doing the activity 47.1 and then other doing activity similarly.

Overall, we have seen the chart female are all year highest activity rather then the men.

Australian women we have seen its highest activity in this ages doing 45 to 54 53.3 percentage doing the activity and female lowest activity doing in this ages 65 and over its 47.1% doing the activity.

Australian doing the highest activity in this ages15 to 24 is doing activity 52.8% and lowest activity doing this ages 35 to 44 its doing activity 39.5%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies some relevant extremes, including the male peak of 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds and the male low of 39.5% among 35–44-year-olds. However, its overview is inaccurate: women were not more active in every age group, since men led in the youngest group. The opening also gives 2020 rather than 2010, and the first overview sentence incorrectly describes the 65-and-over figures as the lowest for both sexes. The response is 139 words, below the required 150, which limits its coverage. To improve, report the main pattern accurately: women exceeded men in all groups except 15–24, and give a clearer comparison of the age trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

There is an attempt to organise the response, with an opening statement followed by comments on overall patterns and separate observations about women and men. However, the progression is difficult to follow because “Overall” is used twice and the first overview sentence combines several figures and claims without a clear relationship. Phrases such as “and then other doing activity similarly” do not explain what is being compared, while repeated wording about “doing activity” makes the response feel circular. A clearer structure would be an introduction, one concise overview, and two body paragraphs grouped by sex or by age pattern. Use linking expressions only where they clarify a comparison, rather than repeating them.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subjects and report percentages, using terms such as “percentage,” “age groups,” “highest,” and “lowest.” However, the range is narrow and several phrases are repeated, especially “doing activity” and “doing the activity.” Some word choices and collocations are awkward, for example “highest activity in this year” and “female are all year highest activity,” which make the intended comparisons less clear. Spelling errors such as “higest” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of chart-reporting expressions, including “the proportion who exercised regularly,” “recorded the highest rate,” and “exceeded the figure for men.” Check spelling and use natural collocations when describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to communicate comparisons and includes some simple sentence forms, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “we have seen the chart female are all year highest activity” lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “Australian doing the highest activity in this ages15 to 24 is doing activity 52.8%” has problems with sentence construction, articles, and agreement. The opening uses the wrong year, and several clauses are joined without clear punctuation or a complete structure. Most sentences rely on repetitive, loosely connected patterns rather than a controlled range. Practise writing complete comparison sentences, such as “Women recorded higher rates than men in every age group except 15–24,” and check articles, plurals, and verb forms.

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