Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The following bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian men and women that doing physical activaties on the daily basis in 2010.

As is observed, the cart shows the proprtion of men and women doing excercise regulary in 2010. The males shows relevantly lower figures than females, however males display the highest ratio in the beginning. Similarly, men and women shows the almost same figures.

First of all looking at the details, the youngest groupof males shows the highest ratio as compared to females which is about ( 52.8% males , 47.7% females ). On the other hand, the group from 25-34 females display the highest figure in it. However, males shows the lowest figures in that group. In contrast, the group from 32-44 there is a huge difference between males and females, females have the highest ratio about 52.5%. Consequently, the males display about 39.5 ratio. Furthermore, the age from 45 to 54, females have 53.3 ratio as c

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the chart’s subject and includes some accurate figures, such as 52.8% for men and 47.7% for women in the youngest group, and 52.5% for women aged 35–44. However, the summary is incomplete and only minimally reports the main features. The overview that men are “relevantly lower” than women is too broad: men have the higher rate in the youngest group, while women lead in the other five groups. The claim that the figures are “almost the same” is not supported across the chart, and the age range “32–44” is inaccurate. The response also stops partway through a comparison and omits the older age groups. To improve, give a clear, accurate overview and select comparisons that cover the full age range.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an introduction, an overview, and a detail paragraph, and linking phrases such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “Furthermore” show an effort to connect points. However, the progression is difficult to follow because comparisons are not consistently grouped or completed. The overview repeats the chart’s purpose rather than clearly summarising its main pattern, and the detail paragraph moves between age groups without a clear sequence. The final sentence ends abruptly at “as c,” leaving the discussion unfinished. Some connectors, including “Consequently,” do not express a clear relationship between the figures. Use a complete overview, then compare the age groups in a consistent order, with each sentence presenting a finished comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “figures,” “ratio,” and “highest,” so the reader can generally identify that it is describing chart data. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, for example “activaties,” “proprtion,” “excercise,” and “regulary.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “on the daily basis” does not accurately reflect the chart’s wording of regular activity, and “huge difference” is an informal, unsupported description. “Ratio” is repeatedly used where “percentage” or “rate” would be more precise. Build a small set of accurate chart-description terms and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including a contrast with “however” and a sentence beginning “On the other hand,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement occur in “The males shows” and “men and women shows,” while the opening phrase “men and women that doing” lacks a correctly formed verb structure. Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “the group from 25-34 females display,” and punctuation around the figures is awkward. The final clause is incomplete, which further disrupts meaning. These errors sometimes make relationships between the data difficult to understand. Practise accurate simple comparison sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and ensuring every sentence is complete.

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