Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This bar chart represents that in 2010, the percentage of Australian people including men and women who did regular specific physical activities to remain healthy in different groups of age.

According to the given bar chart, at the age of 15 to 24 men did more regular exercise than women i.e, 52.2 to 47.7. However, as the time approached the percentage of women doing exercise daily has increased till different age groups. Whereas. from the age 25 to 65 and over women has started doing exercise to remain fit and fresh.

Nowadays that is why women seems more sharp and active than men. This actually shows a reality that doing adequate amount of exercise daily influences a lot on our daily life and routine. In our country we do not take into account exercise that compulsory just due to the burden of academic as well as domestic tasks.

In conclusion, I think people have to add a bit part of exercise in their daily life to keep healthy as the people of Europe and Uk does.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies one relevant comparison: men have a higher activity rate in the youngest group, while women are higher in most older groups. However, the chart is only minimally reported, so its main features are not clearly summarised. The figure for young men is given as 52.2%, rather than 52.8%, and the response does not report the important pattern that male participation falls to a low of 39.5% at ages 35–44 before rising, while women peak at 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds. The claim that women exercise “daily” is not shown by the chart, which concerns regular activity. The comments about women being sharper, national habits, and Europe and the UK are unsupported and distract from the data. Focus on an accurate overview and selected comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: the response begins with an introduction, moves to a comparison, and ends with a conclusion. However, the progression is not consistently clear because the data discussion gives way to personal commentary about health, academic and domestic burdens, and other countries. Linking is also sometimes inaccurate or incomplete. For example, “However, as the time approached” does not clearly explain the change across age groups, and “Whereas” is left as a fragment before the next sentence. The conclusion introduces advice rather than drawing together the chart’s main findings. Keep the paragraphs focused on the chart and use clear transitions to compare the male and female trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a basic range of vocabulary that is generally understandable, including “percentage,” “age groups,” “regular exercise,” and “in conclusion.” However, word choice and collocation are often imprecise or repetitive, which makes some ideas awkward to follow. “Specific physical activities” is not a natural description of the chart’s measure, and “a bit part of exercise” does not express the intended idea clearly. Phrases such as “sharp and active” and “fit and fresh” are informal or unsupported interpretations rather than precise descriptions of the data. Use neutral chart language and vary terms such as “participation,” “proportion,” and “rate” to describe the figures and trends accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including “According to the given bar chart…” and a sentence beginning “This actually shows…”, but the range is limited and complex constructions are often faulty. For example, “Whereas. from the age 25 to 65 and over women has started” has incorrect punctuation, an incomplete contrast structure, and subject–verb disagreement. “Women seems” also needs plural agreement, while “people … does” has the same problem. The opening sentence is difficult to control, and the comparison “52.2 to 47.7” lacks a clear grammatical frame. Build shorter, accurate comparison sentences first, then practise joining them with correctly formed clauses and consistent punctuation.

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