Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrate the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, The percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010. and explian the percentage of men and women. and the age of 15 to 24 and 25 to 34 and 35 to 44, 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and 65 and over and explain the ages percentage.

First of all, the age of 15 to 24 and men percentage 52.8% and women percentage 47.7%.and 25 to 34 and the men age percentage 42.2% and women age of 48.9%, and age of 35 to 44 and men percentage of 39.5% and women percentage of 52.5%.

Secondly, The age of 45 to 54 and the men percentage of 43.1% and the women percentage of 53.3%, and the age of 55 to 64 and the men age of 45.1% and women age of 53%, and the age of 65 over is the men percentage of 46.7% and women percentage of 47.1%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report the figures for all six age groups, and the values you give match the chart. However, the response does not meaningfully summarise the main features: the overview repeats that the chart shows percentages and lists the age groups, rather than identifying the key pattern. For example, it should state that women were more active than men in every group except ages 15–24, and that women’s rate peaked at 45–54 while men’s was lowest at 35–44. The body is largely a sequence of figures, with little comparison or interpretation. To strengthen the response, select the most important contrasts and describe the overall trends, using figures to support them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an attempted overview, and two body paragraphs. The age groups are presented in chart order, which gives the figures some organisation. However, there is little overall progression because the overview does not establish a useful summary, and the body paragraphs mainly list data. Connectors such as “First of all” and “Secondly” are used mechanically, while repeated “and” links make several sentences difficult to follow. For example, the first body paragraph strings three comparisons together without clear sentence boundaries. Grouping the figures around a meaningful contrast—such as the male lead in the youngest group versus the female lead in the others—would make the organisation clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on “percentage,” “age,” “men,” and “women.” This is enough to identify the chart’s subjects and report the figures, but it offers little variety or precision for describing trends and comparisons. Phrases such as “men percentage” and “women age percentage” are awkward collocations, and “explain the ages percentage” does not clearly express a chart feature. Use more suitable reporting language, such as “the proportion of men,” “the female figure,” “was higher than,” or “reached a peak.” Also check spelling and capitalisation: “australian” should be “Australian,” and “explian” is misspelled. More precise vocabulary would help turn the data list into a clear summary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response relies on a very limited range of sentence patterns, and frequent errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas unclear. The opening says “The bar chart illustrate,” where the singular subject requires “illustrates.” The overview is not a complete, well-formed sentence: “Overall, The percentage … in 2010. and explian…” contains a fragment and an incorrectly separated continuation. In the body, punctuation is often missing around sentence boundaries, as in “47.7%.and 25 to 34,” and long strings joined by “and” are difficult to control. There are also inconsistent capital letters after full stops. Practise writing complete sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement, then use a small range of comparison structures, such as “whereas” and “while,” with clear punctuation.

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