Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The available chart illustrate the information of australian nationals perform physical exercises belongs to various age groups in 2010.

According to available records males and females involve themselfs in physcial activities belongs to 15 to 65 years age and more .Higest number of females 53.3% were from 45 to 54 years old whoperform body base exercises .In addition second most higest portion 53% contributed by females from senior group about 55 to 64 years old meanwhile young boys of 15 to 24 years old do 52.8% physical activities.in contrast 35 to 44 years old mens reported least only 39.5 choose to do body workout .on one hand senior ones with 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 years oldies contribution reporetd 43.1% and 45.1 % who consider to do physical activities in dailybase life on the other hand 65 and more then 65 years great people show slight change almost 47.1 % by females and 46.7% mlaes who love to do body invove activities .

overall graph indicates that woman belongs to different age groups most perform bosy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant figures, including the female peak of 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds, the 53% figure for women aged 55–64, and the male low of 39.5% among 35–44-year-olds. However, the response does not clearly summarise the chart’s main comparisons. The overview is unfinished (“overall graph indicates that woman…”) and does not state the key pattern: women were more active than men in every age group except 15–24, where men led. Some figures are also assigned unclearly; for example, the 52.8% for young men is presented amid discussion of female figures. Focus on accurate, clearly attributed comparisons and complete the overview to make the response more fully relevant to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to group information and signal contrasts, using phrases such as “In addition” and “in contrast,” and the response begins with an introduction before moving to chart details. However, the main body is largely one long, difficult-to-follow sequence, with several comparisons crowded together and unclear links between them. The contrast markers “on one hand” and “on the other hand” do not establish a clear comparison, and the final overview breaks off before completing its point. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and selected comparisons, and organise the figures by a clear principle—for example, male versus female rates or age-group trends. This would give the information a more coherent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts a range of vocabulary related to the topic, including “physical activities,” “contributed,” and “slight change.” However, many choices are inaccurate, repetitive, or difficult to understand, such as “body base exercises,” “body invove activities,” and “great people” for older adults. Several spelling errors, including “physcial,” “Higest,” and “mlaes,” further strain the reader. Prefer precise chart language and avoid decorative phrases that do not describe the data clearly: “percentage,” “rate,” “higher,” and “lower” are more suitable than repeated references to “body” or “workout.” Careful spelling and natural collocations would make the figures easier to interpret.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and linking structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the relationships between ideas. For example, “The available chart illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “females involve themselfs” has an incorrect verb form and pronoun. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: the long passage beginning “According to available records” runs several comparisons together, making it hard to see where one point ends. Use shorter, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Women aged 45–54 recorded the highest rate, at 53.3%.” Check agreement, articles, and sentence punctuation, then add more complex structures only when their meaning remains clear.

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